Oct 21, 2026 · 26 min · 9 segments
He loves his wife. He’s attracted to her. They have sex about once a week and he’s grateful for it. She says she enjoys their time together. And something is still missing. She prefers to be made…
And I think it's also worth noting as we frame this conversation, neither one of them is a villain here.
No.
They just haven't asked a harder question that needs to be asked at the outset of what's the experience like for my spouse with this and what's my experience like and how it impacts my spouse.
Okay.
Because a lot of times when it comes to our sex lives, we get caught up in, what's this like for me? What do I want? And we find this level of, I'm comfortable.
He sounds like he's more caught up in her.
Yes.
And how she might be responding.
And then it might be that she's not caught up enough in him to understand what's her impact on him.
Okay.
And it's worth noting his quote that he had in there of I'd like her to be a little more involved and engaged, but certainly don't want any pressure at all applied because that can kill desire that yes, pressure is a desire killer, but pressure does not go away in marriage.
And I think it's also worth noting as we frame this conversation, neither one of them is a villain here.
No.
They just haven't asked a harder question that needs to be asked at the outset of what's the experience like for my spouse with this and what's my experience like and how it impacts my spouse.
Okay.
Because a lot of times when it comes to our sex lives, we get caught up in, what's this like for me? What do I want? And we find this level of, I'm comfortable.
He sounds like he's more caught up in her.
Yes.
And how she might be responding.
And then it might be that she's not caught up enough in him to understand what's her impact on him.
Okay.
And it's worth noting his quote that he had in there of I'd like her to be a little more involved and engaged, but certainly don't want any pressure at all applied because that can kill desire that yes, pressure is a desire killer, but pressure does not go away in marriage.
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