S02E10 Knocked Up, Who's There?

Follow us at @**fallinginlovepod** And leave a comment with your rating of this episode! We loved to read them!! \------ RECAP: Season 2, Episode 10: “Knocked Up, Who’s There?” This week, *Secret Life* briefly remembers it is allegedly a show about teen pregnancy — but don’t worry, there’s still plenty of masturbation, church-based sexual tension and Amy behaving like she personally invented motherhood. We open with Ben being approached by New Pregnant Girl (NPG aka: Heather), a new pregnant girl who has apparently studied his résumé and concluded: **this man LOVES single mothers.** Heather has been kicked out by her parents, lives alone, and thinks Amy and Ricky will inevitably end up together, so she offers Ben “a good time.” Amy conveniently walks up mid-conversation and is immediately furious. And just like that, Amy suddenly wants to GO OUT WITH BEN. Nothing reignites passion like discovering another woman may want your boyfriend. Meanwhile, Grace has decided she and Jack should speak to a church teen group about ABSTINENCE. Jack is horrified because this means admitting they regret having sex. Grace is then even MORE horrified to learn Jack recently masturbated — once, he claims — purely to make sure everything still worked after Tom nailed him in the groin with a football. Sure, Jan. Grace tries recruiting Ashley: **Grace:** Come to my Teen Abstinence Group. **Ashley:** “I have a group of my own. Teens Against Groups.” Ashley remains undefeated. At home, Molly Ringwald has been put on bedrest, sending George into DEFCON 1. Amy announces she’s going out anyway because apparently living rent-free with a baby has convinced her she is a 42-year-old divorcée. George responds by grounding EVERYONE. Deadeyes arrives to babysit John, hears George said no, and leaves. Ben arrives. George throws him out too. Then George introduces the family’s newest member: **Moose**, a failed guide dog who later somehow gets involved in calling 911 for Anne. Great use of emergency services. Over at church, Grace performs her abstinence masterpiece: a poem called **“I’m Sorry Jesus.”** It bombs. Tom tells her she isn’t funny. Tammy BOOS HER. Teenagers heckle her. Ricky eventually stands up and demands everyone respect Grace. Afterward, Jack tells Grace she doesn’t actually regret having sex. Grace apologizes to Jesus. Grace and Jack then immediately start heavily making out. **MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, ABSTINENCE CLUB.** Adrian is also deeply affected by Grace’s speech, which is impressive considering she insisted she and Ricky have sex BEFORE attending it. She asks Ricky whether they actually have a future. Ricky announces he plans to be a **BACHELOR FOR LIFE**, because sixteen-year-old Ricky is apparently George Clooney circa 1997. Adrian finally realizes she wants sex to mean something and decides she should see other people. Honestly? Growth. But the episode’s surprisingly serious storyline belongs to Heather. Ben visits her and learns she’s terrified: the father disappeared, her parents kicked her out, and she’s facing childbirth alone. Amy eventually visits too, opens with the reassuring news that labor is basically death, but then does something unusually kind: she offers to be there when Heather gives birth if nobody else will. Heather starts asking about adoption. And suddenly, buried beneath Grace apologizing to Jesus for having sex and Moose apparently operating emergency services, *Secret Life* remembers that being a pregnant teenager might actually be frightening. Elsewhere, Ashley is attracting boys, Griffin is functioning as her gay Secret Service detail, Strawberry Shortcake continues hovering suspiciously around Jack and Grace, and Ben is somehow being treated as one of Grant High’s most desirable men. The greatest fantasy this show has ever attempted. **Final score: 4/10 — don’t fuck without protection. We love you Rumer Willis**