Jun 1, 2026 · 2 hr 18 min · 13 segments
This one is quite the doozy! This week, the boys try something a little different, and give you their definitive ranking of the V/H/S films and their segments. This franchise has quite the history…
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I enjoy a horror movie with layers, symbolism, and a shit ton of subtext to keep a film student busy for the next 200 years.
But sometimes I think we forget that horror was built on much simpler pleasures.
Fear, mm.
Violence, oh.
Chaos, mm.
Gore, oh.
The thrill of seeing something horrific happen from the comfort of your couch or in a packed movie theater is orgasmic.
Horror has always been a genre that invites us to confront the things that make us uncomfortable, and sometimes it does that with all the subtlety of a claw hammer through a rib cage.
There's something soothing about that tradition.
Every genre has its foundations, and horror's foundations are messy, uh, Simpson, to say the least.
We gather around campfires to tell scary stories.
We dare each other to watch movies that make us squirm.
We celebrate monsters, slashers, haunted houses, and creatures that probably should have stayed buried, but luckily didn't.
These aren't flaws in the genre.
Oh, hell to the fuck no. They're part of its identity, and that's why traditions matter, young whippersnappers.
Traditions connect us to the people who came before us.
They remind us why we fell in love with something in the first place.
Horror doesn't have to reinvent itself every single time to be valuable.
No, no, no.
Sometimes honoring the old ways, the scares, the blood, the mayhem is just right.
That's part of what makes the VHS franchise so beloved among horror purists.
Beneath all the innovation and found footage creativity is a deep respect for horror's oldest traditions.
Every segment feels like a celebration of the things fans have always loved: shocking violence, unpredictable monsters, unsettling imagery, and the feeling that absolutely anything could happen.
It's horror remembering where it came from, and inviting us to enjoy, and inviting us to enjoy the ride all over again.
[upbeat music] Man, this is some scary shit.
[laughs] Go on, bitch.
Hi, I'm Pablo.
Hi, I'm Paul, and welcome to Scared Gay.
A horror movie podcast with a gay agenda, and today we're giving you a definitive ranking of all of the VHS segments.
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