Why Your Feedback Keeps Landing as Criticism with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Send us Fan Mail Ever start "just trying to give some feedback" and end up in a full-blown fight before you even know what happened? You're not alone, and it's not because you're bad at communicating. It's because most of us never learned the difference between feedback your partner asked for and feedback they didn't. In this episode, Katie sits down with psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack why unsolicited feedback so often lands as criticism, even when our intentions are good. They dig into why high-achievers especially struggle here — your sharp, strategic brain that crushes it at work doesn't automatically know how to "turn off" at home — and what to do instead. You'll learn the simple but powerful question "do you want comfort or solutions?", why pausing before responding might be the hardest (and most important) relational skill you'll ever practice, and how to turn a critique into a request that actually gets heard. If you've ever felt like your good intentions keep getting lost in translation, this conversation will change how you show up for your partner and how you ask to be shown up for, too. Relationship Game Plan Call Free Conversation Starter Cards for Couples Couples Goal Setting Workbook Submit a Dear Katie episode question Follow Katie Rössler on Instagram