RECOVERable: Mental Health and Addiction Experts Answer Your Questions
Aug 6, 2026 · 53 min · 13 segments
Are you constantly living in survival mode without knowing why? You might be experiencing Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Find mental health and addiction treatment near you…
Amanda Stretcher LewisGuestTerri McGuireHostSo let's talk about the role of boundaries for someone who has CPTSD, whether or not they know it, and who has come to be a people pleaser to keep themselves safe.
Boundaries can feel so hard, because it feels like they go against everything that you learned.
And so for a lot of people with CPTSD, starting to learn boundaries can, can just feel so scary.
If I don't fill this role taking care of everyone, um, I'm gonna end up alone," and that's really scary.
Explain that, 'cause it's a very different way of looking at it than a lot of us think.
It's like you, and it's also the difference where you're like, "You can't," and, "I won't," you know?
I, I really think that boundaries teach the people around us how it is okay or not to be in relationship with us.
It really equips the people around us with information about ourself, which is actually so connected.
For me to say, "Hey, I, I don't appreciate when you do that, and so I, I'm gonna have to, to set a boundary there," it lets you learn and know something about me, and lets you, if you're someone who's kind of safe to be in a relationship with-
Um, it, it says, "You wanna know me better, and, and you wanna know how you can be in a relationship with me better." And so there can-
If we learn one another and our needs, and we're mutually respecting those as best we can, we're trusting one another to communicate when those boundaries have been crossed, I, I think we're gonna feel so much closer.
So let's talk about the role of boundaries for someone who has CPTSD, whether or not they know it, and who has come to be a people pleaser to keep themselves safe.
Boundaries can feel so hard, because it feels like they go against everything that you learned.
And so for a lot of people with CPTSD, starting to learn boundaries can, can just feel so scary.
If I don't fill this role taking care of everyone, um, I'm gonna end up alone," and that's really scary.
Explain that, 'cause it's a very different way of looking at it than a lot of us think.
It's like you, and it's also the difference where you're like, "You can't," and, "I won't," you know?
I, I really think that boundaries teach the people around us how it is okay or not to be in relationship with us.
It really equips the people around us with information about ourself, which is actually so connected.
For me to say, "Hey, I, I don't appreciate when you do that, and so I, I'm gonna have to, to set a boundary there," it lets you learn and know something about me, and lets you, if you're someone who's kind of safe to be in a relationship with-
Um, it, it says, "You wanna know me better, and, and you wanna know how you can be in a relationship with me better." And so there can-
If we learn one another and our needs, and we're mutually respecting those as best we can, we're trusting one another to communicate when those boundaries have been crossed, I, I think we're gonna feel so much closer.
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