All the Way from Heaven 055

A letter to God.

Dear Father, I'm writing you because I really don't have any strength left.

I've talked to you about my problems so many times, and so far, I haven't received an answer.

Or maybe I've received an answer, but I haven't allowed it to enter into my heart.

What can I do to be free? Leave everything behind and follow you? But how will I be able to do this? Lord, teach me like a child who knows very little.

It seems to me that I've reached bottom so many times.

I'm afraid that I'm standing at a chasm and I will fall into the abyss, that hell will swallow me up.

After all, I don't want this, but something keeps drawing me back.

Father, please give me strength.

I don't want to feel sorry for myself, but I need your help.

I am too weak.

I am begging you.

My conscience bothers me.

My heart is bleeding from sorrow.

You gave me life, a beautiful wife, and wonderful children.

I have a job, a roof over my head, and so many other things, but I'm not happy.

I'm not true to myself.

My soul cries for rest and peace, but my body never stops lusting.

Lord, hold me in your arms and never let me go.

Please do this.

I want to change, but I can't.

I can only love you.

It's the only thing I can do.

My body is still as a statue, stiff.

[outro music]