I'm Not Doing Hot Girl Summer This Year: What I'm Doing Instead — and Why Every Woman Needs Her Own Set of Non-Negotiables

Every year, I try and go on a couple of fun trips, usually somewhere for my birthday in February, a camping trip in the summertime, and then a proper summer vacation with my kids.

And for every trip that I take, a friend or two usually comes along with me, and I love that.

At the end of every trip, my kids are happy.

My friends are happy.

Everyone has had a great time.

But the truth is that I am completely exhausted.

And this is no one's fault but my own 'cause this is just how I am.

But I spend the entire day making sure that everyone else is good, that everyone has what they need, and that everyone is getting to do what they want.

I want everyone to feel like they're getting the summer break that they envisioned, but that means that I'm rushing to everyone else's schedule, and I'm not doing the things that I would like to do or to relax and unwind the way that I need to.

And I recognize that that's entirely my fault.

Always setting aside my needs to make everyone else happy is a choice that I have been making.

And when summer wraps up, I think that I just spent months giving everyone the version of summer that they envisioned, and I didn't give myself what I needed.

And that's just my pattern.

As soon as the last day of school hits, my daily routines and habits go out the window to accommodate everyone else, and it's not just vacation.

It's every weekend, every birthday party, dinner, gathering, and every event I said yes to when my body was telling me no or to just sit this one out.

This year, I started moving different, and it's carrying into summer because I refuse to have my life, my routines, and all the work that I've done over the last year be derailed by these summer months.

I don't want summer to fly by and then fall to arrive feeling like it's finally time to rest, reset, and reestablish my routines.

And the way that I'm doing it isn't by quitting summer, and it's not by going off grid, and it's not by canceling on people or on all plans.

Instead, it's by getting really, really clear about a short list of things I do every day no matter what, then letting everything else be flexible, and that's it.

The non-negotiables are tighter, and the negotiables are looser.

And that combination is the thing that's actually going to let me enjoy summer instead of just try and get through it.

So that's what we're getting into today.

Before I do, a really important note.

Nothing in this episode is medical advice.

Everything I'm about to tell you is what I figured out for me in my body and my life.