Becoming the Main Character of Your Own Life

All right.

Before we go on, I'd like to always give my disclaimer that I'm not a therapist or a life coach.

Everything in this episode is just what I've observed, learned, or what has worked for me.

And I hope that it's helpful to you too, but please just take what's useful and leave the rest.

I want to start with the realization that made me write this episode to begin with, because it didn't come from a single moment of clarity.

Instead, it came from years of slowly understanding that I was the common denominator.

Whatever else was going on in my life, no matter how happy, unhappy, or neutral I felt about it, I was allowing it.

And at some point, I had to decide, do I rewrite the story and cast myself as the main character, or do I just give up on the vision I had for my life? I refused to be the loser in my own story, so I knew things had to change.

As a child, if I asked my mother to do my hair a certain way, I was often told that I was vain.

If I wanted her to buy me something, I was usually told that I was spoiled.

I very quickly learned that it was best to not attract attention, ask for anything, and make myself as useful as possible to keep her happy.

Teenage years only amplified those messages that I was told.

But now, instead of it only coming from my mom, it was coming from more people in the very conservative religious town that I grew up in.

Wearing shorts in the 100-degree heat was an absolute no.

A bathing suit to swim in, not allowed.

Walking outside with my hair down meant I was automatically grounded.

Anytime I showed up outside of the way others demanded or dictated, I was told that I was inappropriate or wrong.

And eventually, you grow up and you leave the town, but the lessons, those stay with you.

If you want to be accepted, do not attract attention, always be useful, and keep others happy.

Some people are fine going along with that, not wanting to ever disrupt the role that someone else placed them in.

And others, like myself, and probably you if you're listening to this episode, reach a point where they finally say, "Enough.

It's time to live life on my own terms." And although I wish I could have deprogrammed myself at a much earlier age, I am grateful that I'm here now.

And the reason I want to talk about this today is this.

Whatever life has been like for you, whatever your circumstances are, I don't think any woman should be walking around as the supporting cast in her own life.

Instead, I want to see every woman write herself as the heroine of her own story and walk through life with main character energy.