Psychologically Speaking with Leila Ainge
Jul 8, 2026 · 1 hr 5 min · 14 segments
What happens when body shame isn't actually about your body? This week I'm joined by coach and facilitator Emma While, who decided to evict what she calls "the patriarchy squatting in my temple" by…
Emma WhileGuest
Leila AingeHost
it's really intriguing that this journey, which is, you know, using burlesque as almost like a resistance to shame, started off with identity.
So you're looking initially at what showgirl identity am I going to be? That's really curious, isn't it?
Yeah, and to think about... whether we want to be sort of cutesy or funny or dark and sultry.
So, you know, because now I'm doing a solo course and there's a solo show at the end of that.
So the risk with the troupe is, are we going to gel? Will I muck it up for everyone else? Talk about imposter in there.
You know, if she wants to be cutesy and she wants to be funny, but she wants to be sultry, how the hell is that going to work? Will the audience get it? And then for the solo one, lots of us have been saying, oh, that's great because we don't have to worry about messing up for anyone else.
LAUGHTER there's no one else like don't look at me I'm doing it wrong look at her there's
none of that it's really curious isn't it so with the troop thing then you've got this idea like with burlesque haven't you because it is a bit like um there's a retro element to burlesque when I think of burlesque I think about you know like uh decades ago and dark smoky clubs and all that kind of thing and so you could say it's this kind of like retro femininity but um you're saying you know some of that is right at the start you started with that reinterpretation of identity and it's like almost like you create this identity for yourself well
there oh that's you're back so um yeah designing our thinking about our persona and um the persona we kind of want to bring so what i have actually found really interesting some people have said oh it's really what makes it easier is that you are kind of performing a character
that's easier to kind of show up and just do the performance but actually what i've noticed is do i want to admit this yes i will admit this um What it does is allow me to pretend that I'm performing a character while actually just completely being myself.
And I didn't feel like, oh, I'm only able to do this thing because I'm pretending to be this character.
I felt like I'm able to do this thing because I'm no longer pretending to be embarrassed or shameful about doing this thing.
And in any other place of life, I can't do that because that's a bit like, I don't think you should be doing that hip thrust in the middle of Tesco's with your nipples out.
You have full permission and full freedom to be as expressive, as evocative, as sensual, as whatever, as you want to.
it's really intriguing that this journey, which is, you know, using burlesque as almost like a resistance to shame, started off with identity.
So you're looking initially at what showgirl identity am I going to be? That's really curious, isn't it?
Yeah, and to think about... whether we want to be sort of cutesy or funny or dark and sultry.
So, you know, because now I'm doing a solo course and there's a solo show at the end of that.
So the risk with the troupe is, are we going to gel? Will I muck it up for everyone else? Talk about imposter in there.
You know, if she wants to be cutesy and she wants to be funny, but she wants to be sultry, how the hell is that going to work? Will the audience get it? And then for the solo one, lots of us have been saying, oh, that's great because we don't have to worry about messing up for anyone else.
LAUGHTER there's no one else like don't look at me I'm doing it wrong look at her there's
none of that it's really curious isn't it so with the troop thing then you've got this idea like with burlesque haven't you because it is a bit like um there's a retro element to burlesque when I think of burlesque I think about you know like uh decades ago and dark smoky clubs and all that kind of thing and so you could say it's this kind of like retro femininity but um you're saying you know some of that is right at the start you started with that reinterpretation of identity and it's like almost like you create this identity for yourself well
there oh that's you're back so um yeah designing our thinking about our persona and um the persona we kind of want to bring so what i have actually found really interesting some people have said oh it's really what makes it easier is that you are kind of performing a character
that's easier to kind of show up and just do the performance but actually what i've noticed is do i want to admit this yes i will admit this um What it does is allow me to pretend that I'm performing a character while actually just completely being myself.
And I didn't feel like, oh, I'm only able to do this thing because I'm pretending to be this character.
I felt like I'm able to do this thing because I'm no longer pretending to be embarrassed or shameful about doing this thing.
And in any other place of life, I can't do that because that's a bit like, I don't think you should be doing that hip thrust in the middle of Tesco's with your nipples out.
You have full permission and full freedom to be as expressive, as evocative, as sensual, as whatever, as you want to.
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