Proof of Life with Preston Rakovsky
Jul 1, 2026 · 31 min · 10 segments
A woman who always put her relationship first and prided herself on meeting her partner in the middle explains why all that compromising slowly turned her into someone she didn't recognize, what a…
Preston RakovskyHostOf course.
Last time we talked, we had talked about how you had this idea that any relationship can work, but only if you ask yourself one question.
And we kinda talked about it before, but we didn't really touch on the story behind that.
And I thought it was really interesting, because for most people, breakups typically represent the end.
But I think for you, your breakup really represented the beginning of understanding what that meant for you.
I think when you're first getting into a relationship, like, number one, you know everyone is gonna have incompatibilities.
... you know, you only get 80% or 50% or 70%.
So I think-
... you go into every relationship knowing that there's gonna be something that you have to compromise on or sacrifice.
Like, it's inevitable to find a clone of you to be in a relationship with, nor do you want that.
Um, and I also think, like, biologically, we tend to be attracted to people at the get-go that we're, like, pretty different from.
Um, and I think a lot of the times, like, we see qualities in other people that we don't have, and we really kind of admire that, and even want to be that.
So in the first stages of a relationship, you know, for example, in my relationship, my partner, when I first met him, he was very calm, very grounded.
He really kind of didn't need a ton of extra things in his life to feel just, like, rooted and happy and safe.
Meanwhile, I'm a little bit more kind of chaotic.
Like, I have a big friend group, tons of hobbies.
Like, I'm always just, like, running around.
And I feel like, you know, when you're looking for a partner, you look for qualities that maybe you don't have in yourself that you're, like, looking to grow.
And so just for many reasons, knowing there needs to be a compromise, knowing you're gonna have differences, and even being attracted to those differences and looking for those differences, um, that's kind of what sets the stage, I think, for many people, and especially for my relationship.
Like, I initially saw it as a positive, right? Like, the incompatibilities and the differences, I saw as, like, a positive thing at the get-go.
Of course.
Last time we talked, we had talked about how you had this idea that any relationship can work, but only if you ask yourself one question.
And we kinda talked about it before, but we didn't really touch on the story behind that.
And I thought it was really interesting, because for most people, breakups typically represent the end.
But I think for you, your breakup really represented the beginning of understanding what that meant for you.
I think when you're first getting into a relationship, like, number one, you know everyone is gonna have incompatibilities.
... you know, you only get 80% or 50% or 70%.
So I think-
... you go into every relationship knowing that there's gonna be something that you have to compromise on or sacrifice.
Like, it's inevitable to find a clone of you to be in a relationship with, nor do you want that.
Um, and I also think, like, biologically, we tend to be attracted to people at the get-go that we're, like, pretty different from.
Um, and I think a lot of the times, like, we see qualities in other people that we don't have, and we really kind of admire that, and even want to be that.
So in the first stages of a relationship, you know, for example, in my relationship, my partner, when I first met him, he was very calm, very grounded.
He really kind of didn't need a ton of extra things in his life to feel just, like, rooted and happy and safe.
Meanwhile, I'm a little bit more kind of chaotic.
Like, I have a big friend group, tons of hobbies.
Like, I'm always just, like, running around.
And I feel like, you know, when you're looking for a partner, you look for qualities that maybe you don't have in yourself that you're, like, looking to grow.
And so just for many reasons, knowing there needs to be a compromise, knowing you're gonna have differences, and even being attracted to those differences and looking for those differences, um, that's kind of what sets the stage, I think, for many people, and especially for my relationship.
Like, I initially saw it as a positive, right? Like, the incompatibilities and the differences, I saw as, like, a positive thing at the get-go.
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