10 Signs You're With the Right Partner

How does that expand to other things? So, okay, besides bedtime, like, Do you guys eat the same food now that you live together? Or has that changed?

Yeah, that's so funny you mentioned that.

So as like a ripple effect of that bedtime.

So just to be very specific, like I move my bedtime 30 minutes to 60 minutes later.

I still get my workout in, by the way.

So it's okay in the mornings.

I'm still okay.

But what it allows me to do now is by the time I get home after my workout and I'm showered and I'm fresh and everything, I have like 30 minutes where I can actually make breakfast for both of us.

So it's, it's so bizarre because it's like, it's one of those things that like I started to look forward to now.

And it's like, um, going back to the question that you had asked where it's like, we, we start, we sort of started coalesce around this like emotional gravity that we started to form.

Right.

Where it's like, it wasn't spoken about.

It wasn't like, Hey, you're going to handle the breakfast in the morning or you're going to move your breakfast or you're going to move your workout back a little bit or your, you know, your, your bedtime back a little bit.

But these things started to happen.

And like those, those like events, those like chain of like, whatever it is you want to call it, those things wouldn't have been possible if we didn't have that like conversation about, Oh, yeah, this is my best friend.

I'm okay with spending a little bit more time watching TV or whatever it is.

Can you talk to me? You use the words emotional gravity.

What did you mean by that? I think two healthy adults, when they're in a relationship, and I don't care if it's romantic, a friendship, parental, family, whatever it is, two healthy emotional adults will eventually start to form an emotional gravity that their relationship will sort of orbit around.

And when I say like orbit around it, both of these folks are contributing towards this emotional gravity.

But the healthy adults will know not to get sucked into that emotional gravity.

Is getting sucked in like getting codependent and clingy? Yes,

that's what I think.

And I think what happens is in those types of environments where you have maybe one person that's more open to coalescing to the other person's needs.

For example, if I'm super rigid and my wife thinks, hey, you know what? It's just bedtime, 30 minutes, let him go to bed early, whatever it is.

Bit by bit, she'll start to feel that resentment because she started to sort of lose herself in that.