Professor Melissa's Cruise Pod
Aug 11, 2026 · 10 min · 8 segments
What cruise ship behavior instantly ruins the mood of your vacation? From chair hogs reserving empty pool loungers to crowded elevators, buffet hygiene problems, loud Bluetooth speakers, smoking on…
Let's start with the big one because this is a pet peeve that unites every cruiser across every cruise line and at every price point, the chair hogs.
You know what I mean.
It's 8:00 in the morning, the ship has barely cleared the port, and somehow someone has already thrown down a paperback and a pair of flip-flops across four loungers in the shade, and then they vanish, not for 30 minutes to go grab a quick bite to eat or go to the restroom, for the entire day.
You walk past at 2:00 in the afternoon, sun is blazing.
Every good chair, in fact, every chair is taken by one lonely towel and maybe a stateroom key, not a human being in sight.
Meanwhile, you've got cruisers just trying to enjoy the pool scanning the deck like they're hunting for parking at Costco on a [laughs] Saturday morning.
Now, I do love it when the crew puts those little cards on the abandoned chairs saying that they're gonna clear them out after a set time if nobody shows up, and I love it even more when they actually do it though, and that's the problem.
The cruise lines, they always threaten that, "Hey, we don't allow chair hogging.
If you leave your stuff, we're gonna remove it and hold it for you and clear it up for other cruisers." But it's rarely, rarely enforced.
And I know this is a hot button issue for a lot of cruisers.
It actually irritates me so much, and I don't want to be stressed on my vacation, but I've actually gotten to the point after 50-plus cruises that I actually avoid the cruise ship pool entirely because it stresses me out so bad.
And when I'm on vacation, I'm trying to chill, not get stressed and not get irritated and disappointed in other people's bad behavior.
Let's start with the big one because this is a pet peeve that unites every cruiser across every cruise line and at every price point, the chair hogs.
You know what I mean.
It's 8:00 in the morning, the ship has barely cleared the port, and somehow someone has already thrown down a paperback and a pair of flip-flops across four loungers in the shade, and then they vanish, not for 30 minutes to go grab a quick bite to eat or go to the restroom, for the entire day.
You walk past at 2:00 in the afternoon, sun is blazing.
Every good chair, in fact, every chair is taken by one lonely towel and maybe a stateroom key, not a human being in sight.
Meanwhile, you've got cruisers just trying to enjoy the pool scanning the deck like they're hunting for parking at Costco on a [laughs] Saturday morning.
Now, I do love it when the crew puts those little cards on the abandoned chairs saying that they're gonna clear them out after a set time if nobody shows up, and I love it even more when they actually do it though, and that's the problem.
The cruise lines, they always threaten that, "Hey, we don't allow chair hogging.
If you leave your stuff, we're gonna remove it and hold it for you and clear it up for other cruisers." But it's rarely, rarely enforced.
And I know this is a hot button issue for a lot of cruisers.
It actually irritates me so much, and I don't want to be stressed on my vacation, but I've actually gotten to the point after 50-plus cruises that I actually avoid the cruise ship pool entirely because it stresses me out so bad.
And when I'm on vacation, I'm trying to chill, not get stressed and not get irritated and disappointed in other people's bad behavior.
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