Give Your Teen Something the Internet Can’t

I was recently speaking at an event in Tucson, Arizona, and a mom walked up to me and she just said, Mark, hey, what do you think kids really want? What do you think teens really want? I said, you know, that's an interesting question because not many people ask it.

Most of the time that we engage with our kids, we're spending time doing what we want or what we think they may need rather than going to the source and finding out, What is it that they want? Deep down, what do they want? And perhaps one of the reasons that so many of our kids are so angry, anger is an emotional response to not getting what you want.

is that we don't know what they want, and so we don't know how to give it to them.

And so today what I'm going to do is divide up this devotional into a couple of weeks, and I want to talk specifically about giving your teens what they want.

So this would be number one.

Next week I'll do number two.

But the point of it is, is helping you understand why your kids want what they do.

And then how do you give them what they want at times, then also give them what they need and are so desperately searching for? You know, in case you haven't noticed, teens communicate differently today than you and I did as teens.

And the Internet has ushered in a new way of not only communicating differently, But also finding information, answers to questions, instructions to live by, entertainment that never quits, and new ways of social networking that have changed the way that kids engaged.

Teens may think they're making tons of friends on the World Wide Web.

They may feel like they're communicating with the whole world.

However, you know, the reality of this is that talking, making friends, and commenting and meeting on the Internet isn't the same as having face-to-face relationship and sharing meals and getting together and hanging out.

These newly found Internet relationships many times lack some real involvement and investment in one another's lives.

Is it any surprise? Is it really any surprise why kids, you know, are engaged in such selfish behavior because most of the stuff they're doing on the internet is all about me? Listen to me.

There's no response.

It's all about me.

Internet posts on just about any social network depicts lives that are idyllic in appearance and performance, and conversation is more about the transfer of information.

A daily diary of what one is doing is communicated through pictures and hashtags, and it's mostly a one-sided scream for attention and self-satisfied when all the likes and pretty superficial comments come rolling in.

Now, you know, I'm not saying that all the impact of the Internet is bad, but you will know, if you listen to me long enough, how concerned I am about kids' involvement in the Internet and how they're relying on that for relationships and entertainment and engagement and not going to sources of wisdom.

I believe the good far outweighs the negatives that are given much more attention.

But the way teens communicate begs for deeper interaction and parents have the perfect opportunity to fill the communication and connection gap that most teens feel.

You know, to understand the need for your involvement in the lives of your kids, it's important to understand the world of communication and the cultural influence that they live in.

You need to know what you're fighting against to make sure your intentional message of leaving the legacy isn't lost in the white noise surrounding your teens.

So I'm going to give you three things that I think that is pretty representative of the culture that our kids live in.

And it does have an impact.

I was recently speaking at an event in Tucson, Arizona, and a mom walked up to me and she just said, Mark, hey, what do you think kids really want? What do you think teens really want? I said, you know, that's an interesting question because not many people ask it.

Most of the time that we engage with our kids, we're spending time doing what we want or what we think they may need rather than going to the source and finding out, What is it that they want? Deep down, what do they want? And perhaps one of the reasons that so many of our kids are so angry, anger is an emotional response to not getting what you want.

is that we don't know what they want, and so we don't know how to give it to them.

And so today what I'm going to do is divide up this devotional into a couple of weeks, and I want to talk specifically about giving your teens what they want.

So this would be number one.

Next week I'll do number two.

But the point of it is, is helping you understand why your kids want what they do.

And then how do you give them what they want at times, then also give them what they need and are so desperately searching for? You know, in case you haven't noticed, teens communicate differently today than you and I did as teens.

And the Internet has ushered in a new way of not only communicating differently, But also finding information, answers to questions, instructions to live by, entertainment that never quits, and new ways of social networking that have changed the way that kids engaged.

Teens may think they're making tons of friends on the World Wide Web.

They may feel like they're communicating with the whole world.

However, you know, the reality of this is that talking, making friends, and commenting and meeting on the Internet isn't the same as having face-to-face relationship and sharing meals and getting together and hanging out.

These newly found Internet relationships many times lack some real involvement and investment in one another's lives.

Is it any surprise? Is it really any surprise why kids, you know, are engaged in such selfish behavior because most of the stuff they're doing on the internet is all about me? Listen to me.

There's no response.

It's all about me.

Internet posts on just about any social network depicts lives that are idyllic in appearance and performance, and conversation is more about the transfer of information.

A daily diary of what one is doing is communicated through pictures and hashtags, and it's mostly a one-sided scream for attention and self-satisfied when all the likes and pretty superficial comments come rolling in.

Now, you know, I'm not saying that all the impact of the Internet is bad, but you will know, if you listen to me long enough, how concerned I am about kids' involvement in the Internet and how they're relying on that for relationships and entertainment and engagement and not going to sources of wisdom.

I believe the good far outweighs the negatives that are given much more attention.

But the way teens communicate begs for deeper interaction and parents have the perfect opportunity to fill the communication and connection gap that most teens feel.

You know, to understand the need for your involvement in the lives of your kids, it's important to understand the world of communication and the cultural influence that they live in.

You need to know what you're fighting against to make sure your intentional message of leaving the legacy isn't lost in the white noise surrounding your teens.

So I'm going to give you three things that I think that is pretty representative of the culture that our kids live in.

And it does have an impact.