11: Mom Guilt and People Pleasing: How to Stop Saying Yes Out of Obligation with Carla Greenan

How many times have you said yes before you even stopped to ask whether you actually had room for it? At work, saying yes can feel like proof that you are ambitious and committed. At home, it can feel like proof that you are a good mom, partner, daughter, or friend. And when you are the woman everyone knows they can count on, saying no can bring up enough guilt that taking on one more thing somehow feels easier than disappointing someone. On second thought, maybe being capable does not mean every request deserves access to your time and energy. In this episode, Carla Greenan and I get into why ambitious women can become so used to saying yes that overcommitment starts to feel normal, where the pressure to "do it all" actually comes from, and how to figure out what deserves a place in your life before guilt makes the decision for you. Carla Greenan is a former CPA and Professional Certified Coach with 18 years of experience coaching leaders, working parents, and ambitious women through personal and professional transitions. After a 23-year career at a Fortune 500 company, where she became a founding member of its Internal Executive Coaching Team, Carla launched 3Be Coaching to help working parents move from simply surviving everything on their plate to creating careers and lives that actually work for them. What's Discussed (08:17) Why ambitious women can start believing they have to keep saying yes if they want to keep getting opportunities. (15:55) How the "good mom" standard can quietly become an impossible combination of everything we see other women doing well. (21:26) How much pressure can come from assumptions about what other people might think, even when nobody has actually asked more of you. (40:37) Why thoughts like "they will think I am less committed" can change the choices you make at work before you even know whether they are true. (49:29) The questions to ask when you know you are overloaded and need to decide what actually deserves your time right now. (56:43) How to slow down a request instead of automatically saying yes, and create room to negotiate what is actually realistic. (1:00:32) How to say no without apologizing, overexplaining, or accidentally taking responsibility for solving the problem anyway. If saying no still makes you feel selfish, difficult, or like you are letting someone down, listen to this episode of On Second Thought with Carla Greenan.   **Come sit at the table**  The conversation doesn't end when the episode does. My Substack is where the rest lives: my raw, unedited thoughts on every episode, free, every week, plus the world I'm building around style, beauty, travel, and the questions we're all actually asking. And when you're ready for the decisions (what I actually bought, booked, and believed, names and prices included), listeners get 20% off your first year: prettybigthoughts.substack.com/777 Start free: prettybigthoughts.substack.com    **Learn more about Jac Pfeifer:**  Instagram: @officially.jac    **Learn more from Carla Greenan & 3Be Coaching:** LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/carla-greenan Carla Greenan's 3Be Coaching: https://stan.store/3BeCoaching   Website: 3becoaching.com