Aug 29, 2026 · 13 min · 6 segments
Who told you that you were too sensitive, too difficult, selfish, dramatic, unstable, or simply too much? And when did someone else’s opinion become part of your identity? In this solo episode of…
Lisa LacyHostNo entities detected.
I wanna talk about one simple question that keeps following me through my writing, this podcast, my conversations with other people, and the conversations I have with myself.
[laughs] Who told you that? Because what I've started noticing is how many things we call personality that are actually stories, stories that somebody else told us about ourselves, stories repeated enough times that eventually we stopped hearing them as just opinions, and we heard them as facts, and then we built identities around them.
Maybe somebody told you that you were lazy, so now every time you rest, you feel guilty.
Maybe somebody told you you were selfish, so now you say yes when you desperately want to say no.
Maybe somebody told you that you were difficult, so now you spend half your life making yourself easier and more palatable for everybody else to deal with.
Maybe somebody told you that you were too sensitive, so instead of asking whether somebody actually hurt you, you investigate whether you had the right to be hurt at all and then think it's your fault.
And instead of your first question being, "What just happened to me?" your first question becomes, "Am I allowed to feel this?" And that is a hell of a thing to carry through an entire life.
I learned how to solve problems, walk into chaos and organize it, perform under pressure, and be useful.
And you become so good at surviving that everyone, including you, mistakes that survival for who you are.
I wanna talk about one simple question that keeps following me through my writing, this podcast, my conversations with other people, and the conversations I have with myself.
[laughs] Who told you that? Because what I've started noticing is how many things we call personality that are actually stories, stories that somebody else told us about ourselves, stories repeated enough times that eventually we stopped hearing them as just opinions, and we heard them as facts, and then we built identities around them.
Maybe somebody told you that you were lazy, so now every time you rest, you feel guilty.
Maybe somebody told you you were selfish, so now you say yes when you desperately want to say no.
Maybe somebody told you that you were difficult, so now you spend half your life making yourself easier and more palatable for everybody else to deal with.
Maybe somebody told you that you were too sensitive, so instead of asking whether somebody actually hurt you, you investigate whether you had the right to be hurt at all and then think it's your fault.
And instead of your first question being, "What just happened to me?" your first question becomes, "Am I allowed to feel this?" And that is a hell of a thing to carry through an entire life.
I learned how to solve problems, walk into chaos and organize it, perform under pressure, and be useful.
And you become so good at surviving that everyone, including you, mistakes that survival for who you are.
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3 of 10
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