Sep 8, 2026 · 24 min · 10 segments
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Alice ShikinaHost
So, you know, today let's talk about, you know, negotiating a divorce since we're both divorce mediators.
It's an interesting topic and I'd love to hear sort of your perspective on what people should be thinking about when they are about to go into negotiations and perhaps have never really felt like they know what they're doing when it comes to negotiating anything, right? It's a new thing and now you're faced with having to do it.
Yeah, definitely.
It's brand new territory.
And it's when they're in a completely dysregulated state.
So to enter into this new realm with such grief can be a very, very hard walk.
And there's so much to learn through that walk.
I call it kind of like an underworld initiation.
And that's like the pendulum swing.
And the way I look at it is in divorce, it's like you're kind of dropped into this really, really scary space.
bought and everything's crumbling around you.
I just remind my clients like what's not real, if it's not, if it's, if it's real, it can't die.
And what's not real can die.
So like, you know, let some of these layers shed and then let's take an active approach and trying to kind of rebuild what it is that you want.
And a big part of this is us deciding what is it that you want? What are you looking to do? Let's visualize where you're going and what your life is going to look like.
And then I provide a lot of education.
I think education is empowerment.
And so I try to just kind of drop in and bite sized pieces and easy ways to kind of break down really complex laws for my clients so they can get their bearings and start to understand where they're at in the underworld journey.
I think that makes them feel a lot more comfortable.
And then I really try to focus, especially with, you know, the majority of clients that I work with are female.
A big part of my work from the outset is, hey, let's start talking about what it is.
What are your goals? What do you want? And that's a big part of my work.
So, you know, today let's talk about, you know, negotiating a divorce since we're both divorce mediators.
It's an interesting topic and I'd love to hear sort of your perspective on what people should be thinking about when they are about to go into negotiations and perhaps have never really felt like they know what they're doing when it comes to negotiating anything, right? It's a new thing and now you're faced with having to do it.
Yeah, definitely.
It's brand new territory.
And it's when they're in a completely dysregulated state.
So to enter into this new realm with such grief can be a very, very hard walk.
And there's so much to learn through that walk.
I call it kind of like an underworld initiation.
And that's like the pendulum swing.
And the way I look at it is in divorce, it's like you're kind of dropped into this really, really scary space.
bought and everything's crumbling around you.
I just remind my clients like what's not real, if it's not, if it's, if it's real, it can't die.
And what's not real can die.
So like, you know, let some of these layers shed and then let's take an active approach and trying to kind of rebuild what it is that you want.
And a big part of this is us deciding what is it that you want? What are you looking to do? Let's visualize where you're going and what your life is going to look like.
And then I provide a lot of education.
I think education is empowerment.
And so I try to just kind of drop in and bite sized pieces and easy ways to kind of break down really complex laws for my clients so they can get their bearings and start to understand where they're at in the underworld journey.
I think that makes them feel a lot more comfortable.
And then I really try to focus, especially with, you know, the majority of clients that I work with are female.
A big part of my work from the outset is, hey, let's start talking about what it is.
What are your goals? What do you want? And that's a big part of my work.
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