Sep 12, 2026 · 9 min · 5 segments
It's been there since the dawn of time, and it's destroying civilization. Well maybe not, but I find it very weird. Laugh as I explain the evil in your everyday life.
Don't worry about the monk.
Those guys have great health insurance.
The tablet survived years of storms, yak stampedes, conquering armies, and thousands of wolves peeing on it.
He showed it to an anthropologist named Ai Wish.
Even though the doctor knew this was a tablet of great evil, he was determined to give his discovery to the world.
Kind of like those guys who created AI.
This is how the tablet came to be sitting in a museum collecting dust.
And collect dust it did.
It sat in its glass case for over 50 years until an intern decided to clean it.
The evil words spoke to the intern in a way nothing ever had.
He stole the tablet and replaced it with a placemat from some random burger joint.
The replacement was never noticed because people were far more interested in the silly word search and find the difference puzzles than they ever were in that stupid dusty hunk of rock.
The guy left the museum and turned away from all the sciences.
Going into marketing, as the evil tablet instructed, he worked his way up the company ladder.
When he finally earned the key to the executive washroom, he showed the tablet to his manager, who immediately fired his butt because the manager wanted to claim the idea in the hopes of collecting a fat bonus.
Sadly, the manager got fired as well because because the VP he showed it to wanted to claim the idea as well.
Welcome to corporate America.
Of course, the idea was implemented.
All evil ideas are implemented.
It's kind of a foregone conclusion.
couldn't manage it, so they dropped the motto in 2018.
Apparently, evil is a necessary component of corporate success.
But I digress yet again.
Don't worry about the monk.
Those guys have great health insurance.
The tablet survived years of storms, yak stampedes, conquering armies, and thousands of wolves peeing on it.
He showed it to an anthropologist named Ai Wish.
Even though the doctor knew this was a tablet of great evil, he was determined to give his discovery to the world.
Kind of like those guys who created AI.
This is how the tablet came to be sitting in a museum collecting dust.
And collect dust it did.
It sat in its glass case for over 50 years until an intern decided to clean it.
The evil words spoke to the intern in a way nothing ever had.
He stole the tablet and replaced it with a placemat from some random burger joint.
The replacement was never noticed because people were far more interested in the silly word search and find the difference puzzles than they ever were in that stupid dusty hunk of rock.
The guy left the museum and turned away from all the sciences.
Going into marketing, as the evil tablet instructed, he worked his way up the company ladder.
When he finally earned the key to the executive washroom, he showed the tablet to his manager, who immediately fired his butt because the manager wanted to claim the idea in the hopes of collecting a fat bonus.
Sadly, the manager got fired as well because because the VP he showed it to wanted to claim the idea as well.
Welcome to corporate America.
Of course, the idea was implemented.
All evil ideas are implemented.
It's kind of a foregone conclusion.
couldn't manage it, so they dropped the motto in 2018.
Apparently, evil is a necessary component of corporate success.
But I digress yet again.
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