Sep 21, 2026 · 14 min · 7 segments
You did everything you were supposed to do — showed up, did the homework, tried the techniques. And it left you feeling worse…or definitely not better. This episode gets into why standard talk therapy…
In some cases, I think the counselor might have felt frustrated with my lack of progress.
It was just that I needed to learn the concepts so I would ask more and more questions, yet not see things improve.
A counselor who doesn't get that, doesn't understand why they can't say to us, just talk to them and tell them how you feel when we need to know how to move forward with a relationship problem.
In my case, if I could even talk to the person, I would communicate it terribly.
Then when the person responded, I would go blank and not know the follow-up.
There were times I would ask what to say in response, and I could see the frustration on the face of the counselor.
Was she thinking I was purposely being difficult? This is something a lot of us find out the hard way, that standard talk therapy was built for neurotypical brains, not ours.
When it doesn't work, most autistic people don't get told, this approach isn't a fit for you.
Sort of like reading a hundred books on communication and feeling no better at it.
I wasn't getting my needs met, and I assumed I just needed to find a different counselor, only to end up in the same situation.
I remember after my diagnosis that I found one counselor who I really liked.
But when a particularly difficult experience happened in my life, she said, that's just the way it is.
Wow, really? I think some counselors don't understand that at times we process our emotions intellectually.
Like if I could just find the answer, I'd be fine and the negative feeling would stop.
In some cases, I think the counselor might have felt frustrated with my lack of progress.
It was just that I needed to learn the concepts so I would ask more and more questions, yet not see things improve.
A counselor who doesn't get that, doesn't understand why they can't say to us, just talk to them and tell them how you feel when we need to know how to move forward with a relationship problem.
In my case, if I could even talk to the person, I would communicate it terribly.
Then when the person responded, I would go blank and not know the follow-up.
There were times I would ask what to say in response, and I could see the frustration on the face of the counselor.
Was she thinking I was purposely being difficult? This is something a lot of us find out the hard way, that standard talk therapy was built for neurotypical brains, not ours.
When it doesn't work, most autistic people don't get told, this approach isn't a fit for you.
Sort of like reading a hundred books on communication and feeling no better at it.
I wasn't getting my needs met, and I assumed I just needed to find a different counselor, only to end up in the same situation.
I remember after my diagnosis that I found one counselor who I really liked.
But when a particularly difficult experience happened in my life, she said, that's just the way it is.
Wow, really? I think some counselors don't understand that at times we process our emotions intellectually.
Like if I could just find the answer, I'd be fine and the negative feeling would stop.
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