How to Trust, Before You Have Proof It’ll Work

I think there's an interesting thing about that sentence.

She is exactly who she thinks she is.

Because it sounds really simple, right? But actually, how many of us can really say that? It's so easy to know who you are when nothing is really challenging who you are.

It's much harder when there's something meaningful behind.

at stake or when someone you respect doesn't like what you've made when an opportunity comes along that looks really good on paper but would require you to compromise something that matters to you or somehow abandon your values or your what you believe in in order to do it when something that you've been working towards isn't happening as quickly as you thought it would which is by the way all of us all the time when someone else is doing the thing that you want to do and they're doing it really well or to be honest I think what's more common is somebody's doing the thing that you want to do and they're not doing it as well as you could and it's really frustrating to kind of feel like they're where you could be and you're more talented than them those moments when we find out whether we're actually living from what we say we believe or not And I don't mean that in this self-deprecating way or perfectionistic way or another thing to beat yourself up about.

I'm not talking about getting it right all the time.

Definitely not.

None of us get it right all the time, even half the time, to be honest.

I'm talking about how quickly we can start negotiating with ourselves.

We can say that we value creative freedom, but then make something based on what we think will perform rather than what we really want to create.

We say we trust our vision, but then when it takes longer than expected, we start looking around for another one or maybe an easier one.

We say we want to build something in our own way, but then an opportunity comes along and we start building ourselves around what we think will get us somewhere faster.

And I think that's a really subtle but poignant way of giving away your power.

Because suddenly the thing outside of us gets to decide what we believe about ourselves.

The numbers, opportunities, you know, another person's opinion, responses that we get from people we don't know nor will ever know.

And I think this is where I want to make a distinction between knowing who you are and being willing to actually live as that person.

I think a lot of us know.

We know the kind of work we want to make.

We know what's in our heart.

We know what matters to us.

We know what kind of person that we're becoming.

The question is whether we're willing to keep choosing that person when there's maybe not an immediate response or evidence that it's working.

I think that's when this whole idea of personal power starts to become more interesting.

There's actually an idea within psychology that I think helps explain this really well.

It's called self-signaling.

I think there's an interesting thing about that sentence.

She is exactly who she thinks she is.

Because it sounds really simple, right? But actually, how many of us can really say that? It's so easy to know who you are when nothing is really challenging who you are.

It's much harder when there's something meaningful behind.

at stake or when someone you respect doesn't like what you've made when an opportunity comes along that looks really good on paper but would require you to compromise something that matters to you or somehow abandon your values or your what you believe in in order to do it when something that you've been working towards isn't happening as quickly as you thought it would which is by the way all of us all the time when someone else is doing the thing that you want to do and they're doing it really well or to be honest I think what's more common is somebody's doing the thing that you want to do and they're not doing it as well as you could and it's really frustrating to kind of feel like they're where you could be and you're more talented than them those moments when we find out whether we're actually living from what we say we believe or not And I don't mean that in this self-deprecating way or perfectionistic way or another thing to beat yourself up about.

I'm not talking about getting it right all the time.

Definitely not.

None of us get it right all the time, even half the time, to be honest.

I'm talking about how quickly we can start negotiating with ourselves.

We can say that we value creative freedom, but then make something based on what we think will perform rather than what we really want to create.

We say we trust our vision, but then when it takes longer than expected, we start looking around for another one or maybe an easier one.

We say we want to build something in our own way, but then an opportunity comes along and we start building ourselves around what we think will get us somewhere faster.

And I think that's a really subtle but poignant way of giving away your power.

Because suddenly the thing outside of us gets to decide what we believe about ourselves.

The numbers, opportunities, you know, another person's opinion, responses that we get from people we don't know nor will ever know.

And I think this is where I want to make a distinction between knowing who you are and being willing to actually live as that person.

I think a lot of us know.

We know the kind of work we want to make.

We know what's in our heart.

We know what matters to us.

We know what kind of person that we're becoming.

The question is whether we're willing to keep choosing that person when there's maybe not an immediate response or evidence that it's working.

I think that's when this whole idea of personal power starts to become more interesting.

There's actually an idea within psychology that I think helps explain this really well.

It's called self-signaling.