Aug 10, 2026 · 37 min · 15 segments
Social media has changed the way we parent, the expectations we place on ourselves, and even the way we experience our marriages. But what if the constant comparison and pressure to "do it all right"…
Lindsay CavanaghHostSo I think one piece that's really important, it's a mindset piece, but it's having a clear understanding that, especially after kids, but just in life in general, your relationship is going to get incredibly imbalanced as you move through life together.
There is this momentum that picks up in our modern family lives that just pulls us away from ourselves as individuals, but also pulls us apart in our relationship.
And so when we understand, hey, our relationship's gonna regularly get sort of thrown off kilter, it normalizes the need to come in and make adjustments.
So adopting this belief that it is normal for my relationships to always need something, I think is really important for us to carry into our relationship all the time, our relationship with ourselves, but also after kids.
Because what I see happen a lot is that usually, I'm speaking generally, the woman takes on the role of managing the relationship, and when she approaches her partner to have a conversation around some things that need to change, there's a lot of defensiveness, a lot of resistance, instead of just this belief that, "Hey, life's busy.
This is normal for this to happen, and we're gonna have to talk about our relationship often." So I think that piece is really important.
Sounds kind of cliché, but appreciation, I think, is one of the quickest ways to soften the tone in a relationship if you're in a bad spot.
But if one person can humble themselves enough to step toward the other and give meaningful appreciation, that actually goes a long way into sort of lowering defenses and helping to make some repair moving forward.
It's wild how quickly after kids you can start to feel like you and your partner live in different realities.
When you offer appreciation, what that does is it says, "I see you and your reality, and I value it." And so it's a lot more powerful than just, like, "Thank you," [laughs] or, "You're a good mom," or, "You're a good dad." You know, it needs to have a little bit of depth, and I say use more words when you offer appreciation.
So I think one piece that's really important, it's a mindset piece, but it's having a clear understanding that, especially after kids, but just in life in general, your relationship is going to get incredibly imbalanced as you move through life together.
There is this momentum that picks up in our modern family lives that just pulls us away from ourselves as individuals, but also pulls us apart in our relationship.
And so when we understand, hey, our relationship's gonna regularly get sort of thrown off kilter, it normalizes the need to come in and make adjustments.
So adopting this belief that it is normal for my relationships to always need something, I think is really important for us to carry into our relationship all the time, our relationship with ourselves, but also after kids.
Because what I see happen a lot is that usually, I'm speaking generally, the woman takes on the role of managing the relationship, and when she approaches her partner to have a conversation around some things that need to change, there's a lot of defensiveness, a lot of resistance, instead of just this belief that, "Hey, life's busy.
This is normal for this to happen, and we're gonna have to talk about our relationship often." So I think that piece is really important.
Sounds kind of cliché, but appreciation, I think, is one of the quickest ways to soften the tone in a relationship if you're in a bad spot.
But if one person can humble themselves enough to step toward the other and give meaningful appreciation, that actually goes a long way into sort of lowering defenses and helping to make some repair moving forward.
It's wild how quickly after kids you can start to feel like you and your partner live in different realities.
When you offer appreciation, what that does is it says, "I see you and your reality, and I value it." And so it's a lot more powerful than just, like, "Thank you," [laughs] or, "You're a good mom," or, "You're a good dad." You know, it needs to have a little bit of depth, and I say use more words when you offer appreciation.
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