Number one, the reason for this, and this is the trap, is that the majority of therapeutic content out there, the majority of especially the, the red pill content, some of the manosphere stuff out there, what it's telling you is if you just get better at doing things, you're going to feel better about who you are.
You will feel better about yourself in terms of a self-esteem standpoint, so great for that.
Right? If you lack self-esteem in terms of your perspective, 'cause self-esteem is, "How well can I do things? How much can I do, and how well can I do them? And if I can do them very well, then I feel good about myself.
I feel like when I do things, I can do them well, and that's valuable for the world." But that does not fill the void for the men who feel like, "I don't matter," or the men that feel like I did, which is, "Something's wrong with me." So if you're a man that has dealt with a lot of shame, you have a lot of shame inside of yourself, you've experienced abuse or neglect or abandonment or some type of trauma, it's not going to fill that gap.
You can be the best in the world at what you do, and this is what I've seen time and time again, because the majority of the men come to me and work with me when th- this exact thing happens.
They still feel like something's fundamentally wrong with them, like they don't have worth or value or like they do not matter.
And that is because no amount of self-esteem is going to fill in the vacancy of self-worth.
No amount of confidence or competency is going to fill in the hollow sensation inside of you of, "I don't know if I fundamentally matter." And the reason for that is that self-worth, the knowing of self-worth, is something that is installed in relationships.
Number one, the reason for this, and this is the trap, is that the majority of therapeutic content out there, the majority of especially the, the red pill content, some of the manosphere stuff out there, what it's telling you is if you just get better at doing things, you're going to feel better about who you are.
You will feel better about yourself in terms of a self-esteem standpoint, so great for that.
Right? If you lack self-esteem in terms of your perspective, 'cause self-esteem is, "How well can I do things? How much can I do, and how well can I do them? And if I can do them very well, then I feel good about myself.
I feel like when I do things, I can do them well, and that's valuable for the world." But that does not fill the void for the men who feel like, "I don't matter," or the men that feel like I did, which is, "Something's wrong with me." So if you're a man that has dealt with a lot of shame, you have a lot of shame inside of yourself, you've experienced abuse or neglect or abandonment or some type of trauma, it's not going to fill that gap.
You can be the best in the world at what you do, and this is what I've seen time and time again, because the majority of the men come to me and work with me when th- this exact thing happens.
They still feel like something's fundamentally wrong with them, like they don't have worth or value or like they do not matter.
And that is because no amount of self-esteem is going to fill in the vacancy of self-worth.
No amount of confidence or competency is going to fill in the hollow sensation inside of you of, "I don't know if I fundamentally matter." And the reason for that is that self-worth, the knowing of self-worth, is something that is installed in relationships.
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