WHY TRUST CHANGES EVERYTHING | Living Without Limits Podcast

As, you know, we, we base our future decisions on our past experiences.

So if we've had, uh, a run of really difficult life experiences such as bereavement, or divorce, or children leaving home, or difficulty in relationships with children, with our partners, uh, with family members, you know, it might just feel that life has been, has threw you a f- a, a few lemons over the last few years.

And especially when life's challenges come in quick s- in a short space of time.

Uh, and that can be over a few years, you know, if we've experienced maybe two or three major life changes.

Um, you know, maybe recently we've had children.

Um, it can be we've moved away or changed career.

These are, these are huge changes where it can really just unsettle us and cause us to doubt ourselves, which we can lose trust in ourselves, trust in our own decisions, uh, and loads of different things can play into that.

But it's a, it's a huge factor in determining whether we live without limits or whether it, you know, our choices, our decisions are based on whether we trust ourselves, trust others, and trust the world.

You know, we- we're hearing on the news how unsafe the world is right now.

So there's lots of different factors playing into this, and we feel, we can feel vulnerable in at work where we're not in control of any of the decisions.

It feels like we don't know what's gonna be asked of, uh, us, um, from one week to the next.

Maybe we're gonna be given an extra workload or whatever it may be, or maybe there's gonna be another expectation from a certain family member who, uh, is notorious for, you know, expecting everybody else to help them, and maybe you're the, the go-to person that everybody seems to go to.

So there can be a real vulnerability to any of these, uh, factors really.

And like I say, life changes can leave us with a feeling of, "Wow, just anything can happen at any moment," and what I thought was okay and I felt safe enough, now I don't.

So there can be, there can be a, a lot of different, um, fears that are introduced with that as well.

So ...

And then also, you know, going beyond our, uh, present experiences or even, uh, you know, going further back, we may have had experiences growing up that, that make it difficult for us to trust, uh, other people or even trust ourselves.

And we've touched on this before on the podcast where our past experiences will definitely form certain beliefs about, you know ...

Before the age of five or certainly seven, we form opinions on, is the world safe? Are people in it safe? And can I trust myself? So if we're heavily criticized growing up, it will be very difficult to, to trust our decisions because we'll have a belief that, that we don't make good decisions and that we're not, um, capable.

We'll believe, we'll have a belief that we're, we're not good enough and that we don't, um, make g- good choices.

Maybe we were overly protected where parents made decisions for us.

They were overprotective, which can sometimes send a message of, "I can't make decisions for myself.

I need somebody else to keep me safe," versus we were given the opportunity to learn by mistakes, and it's okay to make mistakes, and it's safe to make mistakes to a certain degree, of course.

You know, I'm not talking about putting ourselves in dangerous situations.

Um, but you know, in a, in everyday, uh, decisions that if we were encouraged to try and find our own answers, um, guided by parents, you know, depending age appropriate, of course, with that kind of thing.