John M. WalshHost
Nobody wakes up one morning and thinks, "I'm gonna become the person who never asks for help." It happens gradually.

Per- perhaps you were the sensible one in the family, the organized one, the person who got things done.

Maybe you discovered quite early that being useful got a good response from people, or circ- circumstances simply demanded it.

Then something else happened, and you coped with that as well, and people noticed.

If somebody says, "Ask Sarah, she'll know what to do," or, "John'll sort it out," there is a little piece of identity in that.

I can handle things, and do you know what? I don't fall apart." That can become a very strong source of confidence.

The difficulty comes when the identity becomes too rigid, because eventually life produces something that you can't simply solve by working harder or thinking more clearly.

If somebody asks whether they're all right, they'll say, "Yeah, I'm fine." And because they're still performing, everybody believes them.

Nobody wakes up one morning and thinks, "I'm gonna become the person who never asks for help." It happens gradually.

Per- perhaps you were the sensible one in the family, the organized one, the person who got things done.

Maybe you discovered quite early that being useful got a good response from people, or circ- circumstances simply demanded it.

Then something else happened, and you coped with that as well, and people noticed.

If somebody says, "Ask Sarah, she'll know what to do," or, "John'll sort it out," there is a little piece of identity in that.

I can handle things, and do you know what? I don't fall apart." That can become a very strong source of confidence.

The difficulty comes when the identity becomes too rigid, because eventually life produces something that you can't simply solve by working harder or thinking more clearly.

If somebody asks whether they're all right, they'll say, "Yeah, I'm fine." And because they're still performing, everybody believes them.
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