Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice
Oct 19, 2026 · 1 hr 6 min · 10 segments
**You can text someone all day and know their entire childhood story, and still never feel close to them.** We have more information about attachment than ever before, and somehow we’ve never been…
Why does everybody feel so emotionally unavailable right now? And I hear this all the time.
People are like, "Ugh, there's just no good people out there," right? "There's nobody that really wants a relationship.
People, they'll say all the right things, but then they're not actually emotionally available." There's even a lot of articles and stuff online I see where people talk about, uh, people that they're dating weaponizing therapy speak and attachment language, right? Because reality is, is we feel more educated.
Hello, AI, and being able to go down a deep dive on your attachment style and the things you do in relationships, right? Like, there's so much information.
So why is it that we have so much information, and w- in some ways we're more connected than ever, but somehow we are harder to reach? What is, what is going on? We can text each other all day.
We can even go on a date, and you can know someone's entire childhood story but still never feel emotionally close to them.
And the reality is, is emotional unavailability isn't always about the person who disappears.
They might even be saying they love you, and I think it can get so confusing 'cause then it's like, well, what is emotional availability, right? True intimacy requires us to become emotionally present, accountable, and vulnerable.
And we're gonna talk about why those traits I just talked about, why those feel like they're so hard to come by, and, and some signs for you to know if you're dating somebody that has them versus somebody that is emotionally unavailable.
So remember part one, we, we talked about limerence and our attachment styles and how our attachment patterns kind of overlap with limerence, and we started to realize that the more unavailable somebody is when we have insecure attachment, that ambiguity in a relationship actually feeds fantasy.
It's like fuel for the fantasy relationship, and that the less access that you have to the real person, the more sometimes your attachment system gets triggered and starts to create an imagined version, right? Today, we're talking about relational dynamics and, and what is going on behind some of the uncertainty in our insecurely attached relationships.
So moving on, what, what is emotional availability? Let's, let's start out with what it is not.
It's not about sharing all your trauma and giving the slideshow of your childhood on date number three.
And trust me, I was in the past too, where you're kind of saying to someone, "Well, you're not attuning to my needs, and I'm not getting the reassurance, and the emotional investment is not paced appropriately to stay within my window of tolerance," blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Therapy s- therapy speak, therapy speak, right? We can have all of this intellectual awareness, but it does not always translate to our emotional selves, our embodied selves.
How are we actually showing up? And a lot of times when you're overusing-- this is kind of a random tangent, but when you're overusing therapy speak, it's actually a protective mechanism.
Why does everybody feel so emotionally unavailable right now? And I hear this all the time.
People are like, "Ugh, there's just no good people out there," right? "There's nobody that really wants a relationship.
People, they'll say all the right things, but then they're not actually emotionally available." There's even a lot of articles and stuff online I see where people talk about, uh, people that they're dating weaponizing therapy speak and attachment language, right? Because reality is, is we feel more educated.
Hello, AI, and being able to go down a deep dive on your attachment style and the things you do in relationships, right? Like, there's so much information.
So why is it that we have so much information, and w- in some ways we're more connected than ever, but somehow we are harder to reach? What is, what is going on? We can text each other all day.
We can even go on a date, and you can know someone's entire childhood story but still never feel emotionally close to them.
And the reality is, is emotional unavailability isn't always about the person who disappears.
They might even be saying they love you, and I think it can get so confusing 'cause then it's like, well, what is emotional availability, right? True intimacy requires us to become emotionally present, accountable, and vulnerable.
And we're gonna talk about why those traits I just talked about, why those feel like they're so hard to come by, and, and some signs for you to know if you're dating somebody that has them versus somebody that is emotionally unavailable.
So remember part one, we, we talked about limerence and our attachment styles and how our attachment patterns kind of overlap with limerence, and we started to realize that the more unavailable somebody is when we have insecure attachment, that ambiguity in a relationship actually feeds fantasy.
It's like fuel for the fantasy relationship, and that the less access that you have to the real person, the more sometimes your attachment system gets triggered and starts to create an imagined version, right? Today, we're talking about relational dynamics and, and what is going on behind some of the uncertainty in our insecurely attached relationships.
So moving on, what, what is emotional availability? Let's, let's start out with what it is not.
It's not about sharing all your trauma and giving the slideshow of your childhood on date number three.
And trust me, I was in the past too, where you're kind of saying to someone, "Well, you're not attuning to my needs, and I'm not getting the reassurance, and the emotional investment is not paced appropriately to stay within my window of tolerance," blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Therapy s- therapy speak, therapy speak, right? We can have all of this intellectual awareness, but it does not always translate to our emotional selves, our embodied selves.
How are we actually showing up? And a lot of times when you're overusing-- this is kind of a random tangent, but when you're overusing therapy speak, it's actually a protective mechanism.
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