Oct 6, 2026 · 10 min · 6 segments
Protecting your peace sounds healthy. But sometimes what you are calling peace is really emotional avoidance. In this episode, Coach Los breaks down how emotional avoidance can disguise itself as…
Los AceyHostNo entities detected.
You ever notice how everyone's always preaching protect your peace, but sometimes that peace looks a lot like running away? So in this video, I'm gonna break down how emotional avoidance disguises itself as maturity and show you how to recognize when your peace is actually fear of connection.
You know, I had a client who prided himself on always being the calm one because he was never one arguing, or he stayed stoic, right? Or, you know, he wasn't the one getting emotional, and he would always, you know, either just walk away or he would say, "I'm fine." But behind all that calm was distance.
Whenever his partner tried to talk about real feelings, get into the real meat and potatoes of stuff, he'd shut it down, right? See, he thought by doing that, he was preventing further conflict and things getting worse.
You can't mend, and repair, and build, or come to understanding on things or, you know, have clarity if you're not willing to get under the surface, under the hood, and go a little bit deeper into things that do stroke some chords.
And even further, if you keep looking at those chords, right, that, that are being stroked, like you feel them, but you don't let them breathe, and you act like they're not being triggered, then you're effectively telling the signals that your body's trying to send to you that's asking for your help with something, "Hey, shut up, quiet down," right? I'd rather not deal with you than to actually help heal with you so you can release, or you're telling yourself you're suppressing something that needs attention, which any energy you feel has to be expressed some way in the body.
So your body may repress it and try to store it, but then it starts getting weaved into your nervous system, waiting for little moments to come out, and that's what subconscious triggers are.
When you react in a way that's intense whenever you've had too much stored emotional energy that ha- that has a negative vibration to it, and then it comes out like a lash out, and the other person's confused as to what's going on, and it might confuse you or surprise you a little bit that you reacted that way.
See, my client grew up in a home where emotions weren't safe, which is where that wound came from, right? It's like that wound that he's suppressing and pushing down, right, that's trying to speak through him from that experience when he grew up and what he used to see and what...
You know, the, the tone that was set and how it was carried with him subconsciously, right? So he equated calm with control, and because he equated calm with control, then now a- at any hint of tension, it feels like danger to him, at least to his nervous system, because his nervous system translates depth, right, getting into the emotions as drama, and because growing up it wasn't okay to express, and that's what so many people miss.
See, we'll detach in order to protect ourselves, but then we'll confuse numbing ourselves with healing ourselves.
Should be able to sit in the emotions and still be grounded, not lose your cool, not that you have to suppress them to stay cool.
You ever notice how everyone's always preaching protect your peace, but sometimes that peace looks a lot like running away? So in this video, I'm gonna break down how emotional avoidance disguises itself as maturity and show you how to recognize when your peace is actually fear of connection.
You know, I had a client who prided himself on always being the calm one because he was never one arguing, or he stayed stoic, right? Or, you know, he wasn't the one getting emotional, and he would always, you know, either just walk away or he would say, "I'm fine." But behind all that calm was distance.
Whenever his partner tried to talk about real feelings, get into the real meat and potatoes of stuff, he'd shut it down, right? See, he thought by doing that, he was preventing further conflict and things getting worse.
You can't mend, and repair, and build, or come to understanding on things or, you know, have clarity if you're not willing to get under the surface, under the hood, and go a little bit deeper into things that do stroke some chords.
And even further, if you keep looking at those chords, right, that, that are being stroked, like you feel them, but you don't let them breathe, and you act like they're not being triggered, then you're effectively telling the signals that your body's trying to send to you that's asking for your help with something, "Hey, shut up, quiet down," right? I'd rather not deal with you than to actually help heal with you so you can release, or you're telling yourself you're suppressing something that needs attention, which any energy you feel has to be expressed some way in the body.
So your body may repress it and try to store it, but then it starts getting weaved into your nervous system, waiting for little moments to come out, and that's what subconscious triggers are.
When you react in a way that's intense whenever you've had too much stored emotional energy that ha- that has a negative vibration to it, and then it comes out like a lash out, and the other person's confused as to what's going on, and it might confuse you or surprise you a little bit that you reacted that way.
See, my client grew up in a home where emotions weren't safe, which is where that wound came from, right? It's like that wound that he's suppressing and pushing down, right, that's trying to speak through him from that experience when he grew up and what he used to see and what...
You know, the, the tone that was set and how it was carried with him subconsciously, right? So he equated calm with control, and because he equated calm with control, then now a- at any hint of tension, it feels like danger to him, at least to his nervous system, because his nervous system translates depth, right, getting into the emotions as drama, and because growing up it wasn't okay to express, and that's what so many people miss.
See, we'll detach in order to protect ourselves, but then we'll confuse numbing ourselves with healing ourselves.
Should be able to sit in the emotions and still be grounded, not lose your cool, not that you have to suppress them to stay cool.
The rest of this transcript — segmented and speaker-labeled, so you land on the exact moment something was said
Search every transcript — by keyword, by phrase, or by meaning, across every show Radar indexes
Trends — what is surging across podcasts, measured against its own baseline
Alerts — when a name you follow appears in a newly indexed episode
No account is needed to search Radar.