Jun 9, 2026 · 10 min · 10 segments
Over the past 14 years of coaching moms, I've learned a lot and changed my mind about a few things. You might assume I'm talking about time-outs, sticker charts, rewards, consequences, or some other…
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When I decided to call this episode The Parenting Advice I No Longer Give, I realized you might expect me to talk about timeouts, sticker charts, rewards, punishments, or some other parenting strategy.
The truth is, my views on most of those things haven't changed much at all since I started coaching.
What has changed is my understanding of why it's so hard to put good parenting advice into practice in the first place.
Years ago, when a mom came to me feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or reactive, I would immediately focus on her thinking.
I would ask questions like, what story are you telling yourself? What thought is creating that feeling? What would be a more helpful thought to think? I still ask those questions.
Over the last couple of decades, the mental health field has developed a much deeper understanding of how the nervous system influences emotions, relationships, and behavior.
When I first started coaching moms, I relied heavily on a cognitive-based approach that focused on thoughts and beliefs.
I believed that if you wanted to feel differently, you needed to think differently.
Today, there's much more attention given to the body, attachment patterns, trauma, and nervous system regulation alongside thought work as the research in these areas continues to grow.
When I first started hearing colleagues talk about the nervous system and somatic work, I wasn't exactly eager to learn more.
When I decided to call this episode The Parenting Advice I No Longer Give, I realized you might expect me to talk about timeouts, sticker charts, rewards, punishments, or some other parenting strategy.
The truth is, my views on most of those things haven't changed much at all since I started coaching.
What has changed is my understanding of why it's so hard to put good parenting advice into practice in the first place.
Years ago, when a mom came to me feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or reactive, I would immediately focus on her thinking.
I would ask questions like, what story are you telling yourself? What thought is creating that feeling? What would be a more helpful thought to think? I still ask those questions.
Over the last couple of decades, the mental health field has developed a much deeper understanding of how the nervous system influences emotions, relationships, and behavior.
When I first started coaching moms, I relied heavily on a cognitive-based approach that focused on thoughts and beliefs.
I believed that if you wanted to feel differently, you needed to think differently.
Today, there's much more attention given to the body, attachment patterns, trauma, and nervous system regulation alongside thought work as the research in these areas continues to grow.
When I first started hearing colleagues talk about the nervous system and somatic work, I wasn't exactly eager to learn more.
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