How's Your Ma: Episode 8

In this powerful episode of *How's Your Ma?*, Orla and Leanne welcome Jackie — and from the very first minute, it's clear this is a story unlike any other. Jackie opens up about a lifetime shaped by survival: growing up in poverty and domestic violence, being placed in an orphanage as a young child, caring for her siblings well before she was old enough to care for herself, and eventually finding safety, warmth, and stability in ways she never expected. Jackie speaks candidly about her marriage, her escape into what felt like freedom, and how a charming man she met at work turned her world upside down — love bombing, coercive control, physical abuse, and the terrifying experience of navigating the courts and family law system while pregnant and afraid. She shares the heartbreak of her baby Abby's serious heart condition diagnosis, the isolation she endured, and the years it took to finally break free. But this isn't just a story of hardship. Jackie speaks with remarkable clarity, humour, and strength about where she is now — in a good place, learning to say no, and writing the next chapter of her life. She even has a book in her. This is Part 1 of a two-part episode. *If you or someone you know needs support, you can contact the Domestic Violence helpline SASH on 1800 911 221, or reach out to domestic violence services in your area.* **Timecodes:** **00:00** — Welcome & introducing Jackie; Orla and Leanne reflect on her story **01:46** — *"Everybody has a story — and I'm holding the pen on this one"* — Jackie on why she's sharing her truth **02:01** — Years of writing and deleting; finding the courage to stop being ashamed **04:00** — At 57, stepping into the next chapter; giving yourself permission **05:06** — Learning to say no; breaking the people-pleasing habit **07:43** — Jackie begins at the beginning: growing up one of eight children in poverty outside Lusk **09:01** — Memories of domestic abuse at home; flashes of fear **11:14** — The night her mum left through the back window **12:06** — Left to care for her younger siblings; feeding and minding babies as a young child **14:25** — Mum returns with the guards; taking the children to a refuge (Women's Aid) **14:48** — Placed in the orphanage; Sister Stella and a surprisingly safe, warm childhood **17:26** — Good memories: summers at the beach, donkeys, hot milk and bedtime stories **18:47** — The shame of school; hiding where she lived, feeling different **22:26** — Siblings being fostered out one by one; Jackie left behind, too old **27:39** — Running down the stairs to greet prospective foster families, hoping to be chosen **28:48** — Sister Stella gently suggesting she go live with her gran; Jackie's reluctance **32:35** — Moving to her grandmother's; her mum's alcoholism; feeling used, not loved **58:38** — Alan has a work accident; Jackie gets her first taste of freedom going to work **59:54** — Splitting from Alan in 2002; the loneliness and emotional isolation of that marriage **01:00:31** — Meeting her "nightmare" — a charming area manager, the love bombing begins **01:03:34** — *"He was my Prince Charming — and then he flipped a switch"*; the abuse begins **01:05:40** — The first attack; not seeing the signs; coercive control and isolation **01:07:33** — His sob stories and her empathy; confiding in his mother (his biggest enabler) **01:08:55** — The fear; walking on eggshells; the manipulation being worse than the physical abuse **01:10:17** — Breaking up in 2007; discovering she's pregnant with Abby **01:12:50** — Her sister passes away; the pregnancy continuing amid chaos **01:13:58** — The 20-week scan; devastating news about Abby's heart condition **01:15:17** — *"It doesn't matter if she has Down Syndrome — I just need to know if she'll live"*; his reaction to finding out it's a girl **01:33:41** — Mental health crisis; her uncle Pat's concern; going to the GP; anti-depressants and an upcoming court case **01:35:14** — Navigating family law; the system's failings for domestic abuse survivors **01:40:31** — Abby refuses to go back; Jackie stands firm — *"She's not going back"* **01:41:48** — Who he really is; the irony of his "career" in close protection **02:10:50** — Jackie today: a different person, a different strength **02:11:14** — What she'd do differently now; the strength she's found **02:12:06** — Abby thriving; the roller coaster of keeping her daughter held together **02:12:27** — Closing words: *"Don't ignore the red flags. Don't be afraid to talk."* **02:13:11** — Resources: SASH Domestic Violence Helpline 1800 911 221 **02:13:54** — Orla and Leanne reflect on Jackie's journey; what a warrior she is **02:16:04** — Jackie's song: *Celebrate Me* by Sinéad O'Connor — *"it sums up everything I've gone through and everything I'm about to embark on"* **02:17:18** — Teaser for Part 2; wrap-up and outro