Who Am I If Nobody Needs Me?

What if being needed has become part of your identity? Not loved. Not valued. **Needed.** The woman who handles everything. Solves everything. Shows up for everyone. The woman who rarely asks for help because somewhere along the way, doing it herself became proof she could be trusted, capable, worthy. Alyssa Calbora knows her well. She spent years living in the go-go-go mentality, building a business, becoming a mother, chasing goals, and carrying more than she needed to. Then life started forcing her to slow down. A divorce at 27 blew apart one version of her life. Pregnancy challenged another. Motherhood exposed the uncomfortable truth underneath her independence: sometimes “I can handle it” isn't strength. Sometimes it's an identity you don't know how to put down. So Michelle asks the question sitting underneath the entire conversation: **Who are you if you stop being the woman everyone needs?** Michelle and Alyssa get into independence, mom guilt, achievement, self-worth, asking for support, expectations, relationships, and the strange discomfort of discovering being needed can feel like safety. Because being capable isn't the same as being responsible for everything. And being needed isn't the same as being alive. ### **WHAT YOU’LL HEAR** - When “I can handle it” becomes an identity - Why slowing down can feel wildly uncomfortable - The hidden cost of extreme independence - How divorce can expose a version of yourself you buried - Mom guilt, asking for support, and letting someone else carry part of the load - What happens when your goals collide with real life - The pressure to achieve and the expectations we place on ourselves - Being needed versus actually being present - The woman Alyssa is ready to retire, and the parts of her she refuses to lose **THE QUESTION** ### **KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING** **Follow Hot Mess Magic** **Join the Hot Mess Magic Community** https://www.skool.com/hot-mess-magic-1323 **Connect with Michelle** IG - @michelleaburke **Connect with Alyssa** IG @personalassistantgrp **Resources Mentioned** **THIS EPISODE WAS POWERED BY** **Riverside** Hot Mess Magic’s online recording studio https://riverside.sjv.io/hotmessmagic **Gloci** Glow and Debloat. https://getgloci.com/MICHELLE-BURKE **Micro Journey** Live Life Vividly Use code MBURKE for 20% off https://themicrojourney.com/?ref=mburke *Some links may be affiliate links, meaning HMM may earn a commission if you purchase through them.*