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Heart Versus Head

Heart Versus Head

Blame (Burning Down The House)

Sep 2, 2026 · 23 min · 8 segments

In this episode, we explore blame. Why do we find it so easy to blame our partner for the things that happen in our lives? Go ahead and laugh as Randy and Beverly talk about whether it's okay to blame…

In this episode, we explore blame. Why do we find it so easy to blame our partner for the things that happen in our lives? Go ahead and laugh as Randy and Beverly talk about whether it's okay to blame your partner for something they did in a dream and which one of them is to blame that time the house almost burnt down. It's an episode to get you and your partner talking about blame and seeing how Hearts and Heads are doing it differently - and no one is to blame for that. #HeartVersusHead #DontBlameMe #BlameGame #BurningDownTheHouse Send us Fan Mail Heart Versus Head is a podcast about relationship styles and how those relationship styles influence communication in the most important relationships. The hosts - Randy Hampton and Beverly Craddock - are a married couple who are sought-after relationship coaches, award-winning authors and regular people who (like everyone in relationships) are just trying to stay connected through all the noise of life in the modern world. You can learn more about the couple and their work at HeartAndHeadCoaching.com, where you'll learn to fight better and connect again. Or check out their relationship books: Heart Versus Head: How to Communicate and Connect When Nothing Else Works (2026) and The Couples Rulebook (2019).

In this episode, we explore blame. Why do we find it so easy to blame our partner for the things that happen in our lives? Go ahead and laugh as Randy and Beverly talk about whether it's okay to blame…

Speakers: Randy HamptonHostBeverly CraddockHost

Spotify Amazon Music Website

Top entities: Amazon.com×4 Hawaii×4 Oreo Waikiki German cockroach

Show signals: SuitabilitySafeBiasNot politicalAudience≈35 followers

The Dream That Started the Conversation1:21 – 4:24

Randy HamptonHost

1:21

Beverly.

Randy HamptonHost

1:23

The topic of blame came up between you and I this week as we were just laughing about the podcast last week.

Randy HamptonHost

1:31

Last week, you told a story, and in the story, you talked about a dream that you had.

Randy HamptonHost

1:37

And in this dream, you were trying to get through the airport, but you couldn't get your boarding pass.

Randy HamptonHost

1:43

And then the story turned into a little bit what, to me, was like, wait a second.

Randy HamptonHost

1:49

I got defensive here.

Randy HamptonHost

1:52

that I had done something wrong, even though it was a dream.

Randy HamptonHost

1:55

So tell me what happened as you tried to get through the airport.

Beverly CraddockHost

1:59

Well, I don't want to rehash the whole thing.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:00

They should go back and listen to that podcast.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:02

But basically, yeah, my phone quit.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:04

And long story short, some nice lady let me borrow her phone.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:08

I called Randy.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:09

I'm like, you have to come back here.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:10

I can't get through security.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:12

And he hesitated.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:13

He went, uh...

Randy HamptonHost

2:16

This is where it felt a little blamey to me.

Randy HamptonHost

2:18

I was like, she's telling me this story.

Randy HamptonHost

2:21

And I go, wait, that wasn't me.

Randy HamptonHost

2:23

That was a dream.

Randy HamptonHost

2:24

I certainly would have showed up without hesitation in a moment.

Randy HamptonHost

2:28

Nonetheless, it brought up the topic of blame and we started talking about how is it that we're so quick, it's so easy to blame our partner for, well, just about everything.

Randy HamptonHost

2:41

So how do we end up there? What's on your mind when it comes to blame, Beverly?

Beverly CraddockHost

2:47

I think it's curious because in the dream example, I accused you because it felt very real in the dream.

Amazon.comCompanyMultinational conglomerate company
90%4 mentions
HawaiiAdministrative AreaUS state
70%4 mentions
OreoBrand
50%1 mention
WaikikiPlaceNeighborhood in Honolulu, Hawaii
30%1 mention
German cockroachEntityInsect
10%1 mention

Mental HealthHealth
BlameRelationships > Communication > Emotional Intelligence
ResponsibilityRelationships > Communication > Emotional Intelligence > Blame
Relationship DynamicsLifestyle > Personal Development > Self-Reflection > Accountability
Interpersonal CommunicationSociety > Social Psychology > Human Behavior
Blame AttributionSociety > Social Psychology > Human Behavior > Interpersonal Communication
Society
CommunicationRelationships
Lifestyle
Behavioral PsychologyPsychology
Communication SkillsHealth > Mental Health > Emotional Well-being > Relationship Health
Human BehaviorSociety > Social Psychology
Emotional ResponsesPsychology > Behavioral Psychology > Interpersonal Relationships > Conflict Resolution
AccountabilityLifestyle > Personal Development > Self-Reflection
Emotional Well-beingHealth > Mental Health
Self-ReflectionLifestyle > Personal Development
Personal DevelopmentLifestyle
Social PsychologySociety
Relationship HealthHealth > Mental Health > Emotional Well-being
Health
Psychology
Interpersonal RelationshipsPsychology > Behavioral Psychology
Conflict ResolutionPsychology > Behavioral Psychology > Interpersonal Relationships
Relationships
Emotional IntelligenceRelationships > Communication

The Dream That Started the Conversation1:21 – 4:24

Randy HamptonHost

1:21

Beverly.

Randy HamptonHost

1:23

The topic of blame came up between you and I this week as we were just laughing about the podcast last week.

Randy HamptonHost

1:31

Last week, you told a story, and in the story, you talked about a dream that you had.

Randy HamptonHost

1:37

And in this dream, you were trying to get through the airport, but you couldn't get your boarding pass.

Randy HamptonHost

1:43

And then the story turned into a little bit what, to me, was like, wait a second.

Randy HamptonHost

1:49

I got defensive here.

Randy HamptonHost

1:52

that I had done something wrong, even though it was a dream.

Randy HamptonHost

1:55

So tell me what happened as you tried to get through the airport.

Beverly CraddockHost

1:59

Well, I don't want to rehash the whole thing.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:00

They should go back and listen to that podcast.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:02

But basically, yeah, my phone quit.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:04

And long story short, some nice lady let me borrow her phone.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:08

I called Randy.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:09

I'm like, you have to come back here.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:10

I can't get through security.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:12

And he hesitated.

Beverly CraddockHost

2:13

He went, uh...

Randy HamptonHost

2:16

This is where it felt a little blamey to me.

Randy HamptonHost

2:18

I was like, she's telling me this story.

Randy HamptonHost

2:21

And I go, wait, that wasn't me.

Randy HamptonHost

2:23

That was a dream.

Randy HamptonHost

2:24

I certainly would have showed up without hesitation in a moment.

Randy HamptonHost

2:28

Nonetheless, it brought up the topic of blame and we started talking about how is it that we're so quick, it's so easy to blame our partner for, well, just about everything.

Randy HamptonHost

2:41

So how do we end up there? What's on your mind when it comes to blame, Beverly?

Beverly CraddockHost

2:47

I think it's curious because in the dream example, I accused you because it felt very real in the dream.

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