From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist
Aug 11, 2026 · 31 min · 10 segments
What if the hardest part of letting go isn't losing the person—but accepting that the person you loved may never have been who you thought they were? In this deeply personal episode, I unpack the…
And so I have been sharing lots about how I was in a toxic dynamic.
My most recent one was the more subtle one, and therefore I've felt the need to share often about that particular relationship because it is where I learned the most, and it's where I learned that narcissism isn't always loud, and it's not always what you imagine or what you hear.
The abuse is not obvious all the time, and some may argue and say that it's not abuse.
However, the emotional toll that it takes on you is undeniable, and that is one of the things I really wanna highlight in this episode because as somebody who was raised around very obvious abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, it was hard for me to understand that what I was experiencing was also abuse, and I would minimize it and protect that person because what I've learned also is just because people have tendencies, narcissistic tendencies, doesn't mean that every aspect of them is evil and that they don't sometimes have good intentions with what they do.
However, oftentimes their intentions behind the good acts that they do are more about self-image and image preservation than doing acts of kindness for the sake of being a good person and for really feeling that need to help others deep within their soul.
And even now as I speak this, I realize that the very last person that I had dated, we'll say seriously even though it wasn't necessarily a conventional relationship, it was a person who I felt was deeply struggling internally and had good intentions, but ultimately exhibited so many behaviors of covert narcissism that even I have not been able to fully wrap my head around what was real and what was not.
And I may never, and I have to let that go.
I have to stop ruminating because the longer I ruminate and give this person my energy, the more control they have over me, and I no longer want this person to have that control.
And so in sharing some of the subtle ways that abuse can show up, I hope that I help awaken people to the fact that they are experiencing something that is real, that many of us have experienced, and it's difficult to walk away, and when you're in the thick of it, it's hard to explain, and you want to justify staying while also being embarrassed about it.
And so I have been sharing lots about how I was in a toxic dynamic.
My most recent one was the more subtle one, and therefore I've felt the need to share often about that particular relationship because it is where I learned the most, and it's where I learned that narcissism isn't always loud, and it's not always what you imagine or what you hear.
The abuse is not obvious all the time, and some may argue and say that it's not abuse.
However, the emotional toll that it takes on you is undeniable, and that is one of the things I really wanna highlight in this episode because as somebody who was raised around very obvious abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, it was hard for me to understand that what I was experiencing was also abuse, and I would minimize it and protect that person because what I've learned also is just because people have tendencies, narcissistic tendencies, doesn't mean that every aspect of them is evil and that they don't sometimes have good intentions with what they do.
However, oftentimes their intentions behind the good acts that they do are more about self-image and image preservation than doing acts of kindness for the sake of being a good person and for really feeling that need to help others deep within their soul.
And even now as I speak this, I realize that the very last person that I had dated, we'll say seriously even though it wasn't necessarily a conventional relationship, it was a person who I felt was deeply struggling internally and had good intentions, but ultimately exhibited so many behaviors of covert narcissism that even I have not been able to fully wrap my head around what was real and what was not.
And I may never, and I have to let that go.
I have to stop ruminating because the longer I ruminate and give this person my energy, the more control they have over me, and I no longer want this person to have that control.
And so in sharing some of the subtle ways that abuse can show up, I hope that I help awaken people to the fact that they are experiencing something that is real, that many of us have experienced, and it's difficult to walk away, and when you're in the thick of it, it's hard to explain, and you want to justify staying while also being embarrassed about it.
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