Episode 13 - Your Past Shouldn't Get to Date Your Future

And with that, today I really wanted to talk about heartbreak and also betrayal, because I think that those are two things that many of us, arguably all of us, have dealt with at some point.

And there's this common belief that you need to get over these things in order to progress, and I don't believe that.

I don't believe that you ever get over certain heartaches, certain disappointments, whatever you wanna call them.

Sometimes I think that it's not a matter of getting over these things, it's learning what you needed to from them and doing your best to see the good in the... the... see the good in the world despite them.

And the reason that I bring this up is because I was having a discussion with people throughout the week.

I've... speak to a lot of people, particularly people who are navigating dating, trying to find love, and one of the common things that I'm seeing is that their perception of the world and other people are largely dictated by past experiences.

So for example, say somebody has been cheated on multiple times.

They go into the next person dating, whatever you wanna call it, the next meeting with these thoughts in the back of their head, and they're these projections that they're not even conscious of, right? They're thinking, "Oh, the world is always out to get me.

I am not meant for happiness.

This person needs to prove to me otherwise." And if you're going with the mentality that people are guilty until proven innocent, then already you're not in a healthy space, and you're not giving that person the fair chance.

Now, does that mean that this person might not be good for you? Sure, it might.

But if you go in with that belief, then already you're setting that up for, I don't wanna say failure, but you're not setting it with a healthy foundation.

You're not into it giving it the fair shot that it deserves.

So it really is important to heal your betrayal wounds, heal your heartbreak, and understand that you cannot carry these things with you if you are looking for a healthy partnership.

You have to learn to let them go.

And this is not me speaking from a higher perspective because I too, as I've shared in previous episodes if you've listened, am navigating those very things and the wounds that have, have surfaced because of those.

And I did a session with somebody, a healing session, and I really had to let go a lot of the anger, but ultimately, there are still some things that I am working through.

And the reason that I wanna share this is because it's also important to note that the work doesn't necessarily end right away, and even when you think you've made phenomenal strides, sometimes you'll get pulled back, and then you have to find a way to get to the space where you want to be again, where you feel good, where you feel positive, where you have a good perception of the world.

Because your perception dictates your reality.

How you view the world and how you view people will be mirrored by the beliefs that you have.

So I always say, be careful of your thoughts, be careful of the stories that you're telling yourself, and be careful of carrying past experiences into current ones.

We don't need those past experiences to mold our perception of reality.

And the point isn't to let go and get over the heartbreak and betrayal, it's to learn from it and to learn to navigate life in a different way.