Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes
Aug 13, 2026 · 28 min · 10 segments
**Have you ever come home from hanging out with a new friend and you spiral, wondering if you shared too much or scared them off?** **I call this a new friend hangover. And in today’s episode, I want…
Have you ever come home from hanging out with someone new, someone you were maybe genuinely excited about the possibility of this friendship? And instead of feeling good, you feel weird, a little anxious.
Maybe you go to bed and you're just laying there like replaying over and over and over again the things that you said, the conversation, their kind of weird reactions to the things you said.
You're wondering if you shared too much, wondering if they're going to text you back or want to hang out again.
I think we have all been here at least once, but for some people, I think that this happens regularly.
And by that, I mean, I got some of you in my DMs telling me that this is a pattern.
And I think you can have kind of a friendship hangover at any stage in friendship.
Because what I want to talk about today is kind of rushing in to a friendship, this pattern of meeting someone new, getting super excited about feeling like this could be an amazing new friend in your life, going all in fast, sharing a lot, investing early, treating this new acquaintance or familiar friend like they are a best friend before the relationship ever has a chance.
to progress to the level where this type of sharing actually makes sense and feels normal.
And then when you do that, the pattern tends to be that maybe this friendship fizzles.
Just a person who maybe isn't returning your phone calls, doesn't text back as much, and kind of keeps their distance at a group function.
And if this has happened to you more than once, you might start to wonder to yourself, like, is it me? Do people not want to be friends with me? Am I too much? Is there something about the way I show up that pushes people away? And if you feel that way about yourself...
It's going to make you probably feel a little more desperate to break the pattern, to show up differently.
And I'll tell you why that desperation is part of the problem in a little bit.
Have you ever come home from hanging out with someone new, someone you were maybe genuinely excited about the possibility of this friendship? And instead of feeling good, you feel weird, a little anxious.
Maybe you go to bed and you're just laying there like replaying over and over and over again the things that you said, the conversation, their kind of weird reactions to the things you said.
You're wondering if you shared too much, wondering if they're going to text you back or want to hang out again.
I think we have all been here at least once, but for some people, I think that this happens regularly.
And by that, I mean, I got some of you in my DMs telling me that this is a pattern.
And I think you can have kind of a friendship hangover at any stage in friendship.
Because what I want to talk about today is kind of rushing in to a friendship, this pattern of meeting someone new, getting super excited about feeling like this could be an amazing new friend in your life, going all in fast, sharing a lot, investing early, treating this new acquaintance or familiar friend like they are a best friend before the relationship ever has a chance.
to progress to the level where this type of sharing actually makes sense and feels normal.
And then when you do that, the pattern tends to be that maybe this friendship fizzles.
Just a person who maybe isn't returning your phone calls, doesn't text back as much, and kind of keeps their distance at a group function.
And if this has happened to you more than once, you might start to wonder to yourself, like, is it me? Do people not want to be friends with me? Am I too much? Is there something about the way I show up that pushes people away? And if you feel that way about yourself...
It's going to make you probably feel a little more desperate to break the pattern, to show up differently.
And I'll tell you why that desperation is part of the problem in a little bit.
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