122: Acceptance Is Not the First Step

For years, I've heard—and even believed—that acceptance was the answer. But through my own experiences with caregiving, health challenges, and now recovering from hamstring surgery, I've discovered something important: sometimes acceptance feels impossibly far away. In this episode, I'm sharing the gentler path that has transformed how I approach healing. Instead of forcing ourselves to "just accept" painful realities, what if we first became aware, gave ourselves permission, practiced compassion, and then found our way to acceptance? We'll explore why busyness can become a way of avoiding ourselves, how self-judgment keeps us stuck, and why understanding isn't the same as approval. I'll also share how this season of slowing down has taught me that healing only happens one compassionate step at a time. **What You'll Learn** - Why acceptance is often the result of healing, the beginning - The seven-step pathway of awareness, permission, understanding, compassion, allowing, acceptance, and choice - How busyness can become a coping strategy that disconnects you from yourself - The difference between understanding someone's behavior and excusing it - Why self-compassion creates more lasting change than self-criticism **Reflection Questions** 1. What are you trying to force yourself to accept right now? <!--THE END--> - Is it a change in your health? - A relationship that did not become what you hoped? - A decision you made? - A decision someone else made? - A loss? - A diagnosis? - A family situation? - A part of yourself you have been judging? <!--THE END--> 1. What would change if you stopped pressuring yourself to accept it and simply became willing to understand it? 2. What information, context, compassion, or permission might you need before acceptance becomes possible? 3. What are you becoming aware of? 4. What do you need to give yourself permission to feel? 5. What are you beginning to understand? 6. Where could you offer yourself a little more compassion? 7. What truth could you allow to be present today without forcing yourself to feel differently about it? 8. And what choice might become available when you stop fighting what is true? **Resources:** Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/resources/ Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60    **Brenda’s Website/Links** - Website - Facebook - Instagram - LinkedIn