Sex & Intimacy Problems | Relationship OCD (ROCD)

Everything.

This is something that, you know, for some of you might have been one of the, quote, triggers or something that started the thoughts that you have that you associate with ROCD, right? Like, maybe you didn't feel like.

being intimate with your partner whether it's sexual or just romantic intimacy and you thought to yourself oh you know does this mean something there's like often a really fast meaning making out of that experience because movies social media society other people who are anxious about their own relationships right might say something like oh if your body is telling you no then then that is a sign and you shouldn't, you know, these are things that you maybe have heard, which reinforces those voices in your own system and that own fearful part of you.

So yeah, that's what we're going to be talking about today.

It's been a long time coming.

I feel like we've been alluding to talking about this a lot.

And so I'm excited that

me too.

I think we talk about it all the time.

It's just, we haven't done an episode that focuses solely on intimacy.

So yeah,

Yeah,

I mean, you know, for those of us with relationship OCD, typically intimacy is a big stumbling block because, you know, we might feel like those deactivating strategies from their avoidant parts of us, which can look like breakup urges or feeling disconnected or disgust or irritation or, you know, shutting down or numbness or whatever.

Numbness can have a variety of different reasons, but And then what happens is or just lack of interest or feeling like pulling away when our partner gets close or just a general sense of, you know, just lack of interest in engaging with our partner in that way sexually or or emotionally.

And as Grace was saying, what typically happens is because we have this certainty-seeking, meaning-making part of us who's on an incessant hunt for certainty around whether we're in the right relationship or not.

it just jumps to the conclusion that this must mean that I must not be into my partner because what I learned was that when you love somebody, intimacy is just a natural flow.

We want it all the time.

We want sex all the time with them.

There's sexual chemistry.

We know how to be with each other in a way that makes each other feel good.

And then when this stuff arises, it's like, well, what's wrong with what's wrong? I mean, it must be the relationship.

So we're going to be talking all about that today and why you actually struggle, what the real reason is that you struggle with intimacy, not from necessarily a compatibility issue or a right or wrong relationship issue, but an internal issue that has to do with wounding and communication, safety, all of that comes into play as well.

Um, so, uh, what I'd like to start the episode off with, and I don't know if anyone has heard this before, but, um, Uh, let me just do a quick Google search.

Who said.

Uh, it, so intimacy, um, can be thought of as into me, see, or into me, you see, I forget who said it.