Jul 29, 2026 · 53 min · 12 segments
🍔🥜 **Five Guys Review: Worst Bacon Ever, Amazing Fries, and Competitive Burgers** 🥜🍔 This week, **Seif Rahoumi** (@seifrahoumi) returns as we put **Five Guys** to the Chili's Test. With Five Guys…
Michael OrnelasHost
Seif RahoumiGuest
Is Five Guys the best nationally available burger joint? The Cajun fries were so good, I'm considering a move to Baton Rouge.

But the coloring station was out of paper, depriving the world of its next masterpiece.

Those burgers were yummy, yummy in my tummy, but the cashier shamed our food choices.

are so fresh, they literally show them off at the front of the store, but the bacon tasted funky in a way that Earth, Wind & Fire would have refused to groove to.

With a name that literally admits to having too many cooks in the kitchen, Five Guys has actually been a beacon of simplicity through the handful of decades it's spent peddling burgers in a crowded field of competitors doing way too much.

Is it enough for them to take home the September championship belt in a couple of months? Let's find out how they fared.
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The flavor of the day is mediocrity.
Wouldn't you like to try a bite? Guarantee it'll be the perfect bite.
Fine dining.
We don't treat mediocre as a joke Ranking every single place we've been Compared to the perfect five out of ten
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