#552 | Boundary Basics: How to Say "No" to Your Boss Without Fearing the Worst

So in preparing for this episode and in I guess coming up with the idea for this episode, I actually did like a deep research of what are some of the biggest challenges that people are facing? What are they struggling with? And how can Evolve ultimately provide the solution? And it's funny, Amelia.

I actually had this exact conversation with a client yesterday.

Monday, I think it was.

So this client is a super, super, super high achiever.

She has a magnificently big, bright future.

And she is, hands down, the top performer at her job.

She's taking on multiple different roles, even though she's only getting paid for one of them.

She is running courses.

She's working on multiple different... sections of the company and helping them all kind of align together.

And because she's so good at her job, she's getting wildly attacked by the people around her.

Even the CEO of the company is kind of conspiring against her a little bit because the CEO is kind of a very – I'm going to use the word unprofessional – human, probably shouldn't be CEO.

But so the CEO keeps giving her more and more to do, and yet won't allow her to make decisions, just keeps putting more on her plate, isn't trusting her, and is kind of undermining everything that she's doing in the process of trying to do all of this.

Now, I didn't necessarily give her advice on what to do.

She's a very well-skilled and well-developed human.

And so I basically was like, what does true self tell you to do? And she was able to figure it out.

But for those who don't have maybe some of the professional development that this client does, I think that's where we can really come into play and help people.

So what are some of the self-regulation skills that that our listeners need before maybe going into an interaction? How can they maybe prepare a statement to say to their boss or a conversation to have? And what should they say? How do you frame it so that it doesn't come to bite you later or so that there aren't, you know, just negative repercussions in the aftermath?

Well, one of the things that I do want to state for anyone that isn't professionally developed and isn't aware is that there are very few scenarios that people will navigate.

And this is honestly why a lot of people don't say no with the sufficient skill and tact available.

to understand what long game, for lack of better words, they're playing.

Long game being like, do you know what your career, like how long your career is going to be in that industry? And not for nothing, but when you establish a boundary, depends on who is on the other side on that boundary, that might come back to quote unquote, bite you down the line when it comes to the long-term progression of your career.

Yeah.

Those who are professionally developed are actively working on their professional development skills and understanding that it's a very small world and most people in a professional setting very much have that.

When you say no, someone's going to have a feeling about that, right? We're all adults.

We can understand that because we are all very much conditioned in Western civilization to very much say yes and to focus on productivity and put a smile on your face.

So in preparing for this episode and in I guess coming up with the idea for this episode, I actually did like a deep research of what are some of the biggest challenges that people are facing? What are they struggling with? And how can Evolve ultimately provide the solution? And it's funny, Amelia.

I actually had this exact conversation with a client yesterday.

Monday, I think it was.

So this client is a super, super, super high achiever.

She has a magnificently big, bright future.

And she is, hands down, the top performer at her job.

She's taking on multiple different roles, even though she's only getting paid for one of them.

She is running courses.

She's working on multiple different... sections of the company and helping them all kind of align together.

And because she's so good at her job, she's getting wildly attacked by the people around her.

Even the CEO of the company is kind of conspiring against her a little bit because the CEO is kind of a very – I'm going to use the word unprofessional – human, probably shouldn't be CEO.

But so the CEO keeps giving her more and more to do, and yet won't allow her to make decisions, just keeps putting more on her plate, isn't trusting her, and is kind of undermining everything that she's doing in the process of trying to do all of this.

Now, I didn't necessarily give her advice on what to do.

She's a very well-skilled and well-developed human.

And so I basically was like, what does true self tell you to do? And she was able to figure it out.

But for those who don't have maybe some of the professional development that this client does, I think that's where we can really come into play and help people.

So what are some of the self-regulation skills that that our listeners need before maybe going into an interaction? How can they maybe prepare a statement to say to their boss or a conversation to have? And what should they say? How do you frame it so that it doesn't come to bite you later or so that there aren't, you know, just negative repercussions in the aftermath?

Well, one of the things that I do want to state for anyone that isn't professionally developed and isn't aware is that there are very few scenarios that people will navigate.

And this is honestly why a lot of people don't say no with the sufficient skill and tact available.

to understand what long game, for lack of better words, they're playing.

Long game being like, do you know what your career, like how long your career is going to be in that industry? And not for nothing, but when you establish a boundary, depends on who is on the other side on that boundary, that might come back to quote unquote, bite you down the line when it comes to the long-term progression of your career.

Yeah.

Those who are professionally developed are actively working on their professional development skills and understanding that it's a very small world and most people in a professional setting very much have that.

When you say no, someone's going to have a feeling about that, right? We're all adults.

We can understand that because we are all very much conditioned in Western civilization to very much say yes and to focus on productivity and put a smile on your face.