When the Wound Runs the Show 

Last episode, we did a first part of a two-part series on value.

So last time we talked about that one first core issue of value.

What it means is that we have inherent worth.

It's what children need in order to internalize and then what happens when those needs aren't met.

We talked about being one up and one down.

These are the two directions that value tends to take if we're wounded in it.

And then we talked about shame as the engine that kind of keeps that wound running.

So today, we're going to follow that wound into adulthood because it doesn't actually just stay back here.

It comes with you like a really big bag full of rocks, okay? So we're going to go over a couple things just to kind of remind you about what things we talked about in part one, right? So just like I said just a minute ago, value is our inherent worth, right? It's not earned.

It's not conditional.

You might call it warm regard, meaning I can look at myself as a human being.

When this happens, I can't go one up on somebody else because that's inflation or pride, grandiosity that becomes our armor, or I might go one down.

And I collapse into shame as my armor.

All right.

And shame is what drives both of these responses.

Okay.

I'm either when I'm in pride, I'm avoiding shame.

All right.

And when I'm in that one down position, I'm actually in it.

I collapse into it.

All right.

And shame is the belief that my real self is unacceptable or bad.