Dirty Laundry: The Divorce Podcast
Jun 25, 2026 · 42 min · 11 segments
Send us Fan Mail Betsy Pake is a master coach, speaker, and founder of the Navigate Method. She has also lived this question herself for nearly a…
Alex HowardHost
Amanda SilverHost
It's interesting you say growth because I find, yeah, folks are either growing together or they're growing apart.
I mean, I think that lots of times what I'm hearing and what I hear a lot, like in my comments, people will message me a lot in my DMs and Instagram, is that there is a normal growth where somebody's growing and somebody's not, and then it changes, right? So it's sort of like you're both moving down the path and still keeping an eye on each other as you move through the path.
And then the partner that isn't growing is the one that's resentful for the one that is growing.
And, you know, I think it's an interesting thing because how do you possibly not grow? You give birth to babies.
How do you not grow? Like you get older, it's a normal healthy thing to grow and change.
I find, and I'm curious to see, because Amanda and I often talk about this, that there are sort of these kind of typical stages where we're seeing relationships, you know, come to an end where people are really asking the big question of, do I stay or do I go? So it's either, you know, right after having babies and your relationship is just completely different than you, you know, than you had gone into.
Maybe about the like 10, 12 year old mark, where the kids are now more independent, you've got a bit more free time and all of a sudden you're looking at your partner going, oh, who are you? Where have you been the last decade? You're not, again, the person I remember.
And then again, empty nesters, right? The gray divorce when people are retiring and they have different ideas about what retirement looks like.
The world is changing, you know, whether it's with your job or with friends or... taking care of elderly parents, right? That sandwich generation.
It's interesting you say growth because I find, yeah, folks are either growing together or they're growing apart.
I mean, I think that lots of times what I'm hearing and what I hear a lot, like in my comments, people will message me a lot in my DMs and Instagram, is that there is a normal growth where somebody's growing and somebody's not, and then it changes, right? So it's sort of like you're both moving down the path and still keeping an eye on each other as you move through the path.
And then the partner that isn't growing is the one that's resentful for the one that is growing.
And, you know, I think it's an interesting thing because how do you possibly not grow? You give birth to babies.
How do you not grow? Like you get older, it's a normal healthy thing to grow and change.
I find, and I'm curious to see, because Amanda and I often talk about this, that there are sort of these kind of typical stages where we're seeing relationships, you know, come to an end where people are really asking the big question of, do I stay or do I go? So it's either, you know, right after having babies and your relationship is just completely different than you, you know, than you had gone into.
Maybe about the like 10, 12 year old mark, where the kids are now more independent, you've got a bit more free time and all of a sudden you're looking at your partner going, oh, who are you? Where have you been the last decade? You're not, again, the person I remember.
And then again, empty nesters, right? The gray divorce when people are retiring and they have different ideas about what retirement looks like.
The world is changing, you know, whether it's with your job or with friends or... taking care of elderly parents, right? That sandwich generation.
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