Ep. 172: World Cup Reality Check for Restaurants

Now more than ever, I've been craving, like, a salad

[laughs]

[laughs] A salad from, like, a pizza shop.

Like, the worst thing-

Oh, yes

... ever right now.

I know those salads.

Is it-

Yes.

Is it because you can't have lettuce right now or you'll have explosive diarrhea?

I did it anyway.

You did it anyway?

I did it anyway.

Mm.

Are you okay?

So far.

[laughs]

Oh, did you have it today? Like-

No, I had it, like, yesterday, the day before.

Ah.

It's, like, two weeks, right?

You want what you can't have, right?

Maybe 'cause it's in the news so much.

Every day we're talking about lettuce.

Yeah.

It's like whenever I-

Is it still going? I haven't paid much attention.

Yeah, because I think I heard it might change by the time we publish this, that it's not even Taylor Farms anymore.

Like, they called them out and it's not correct.

Yeah, it was a false pos-

Oh, God.

Yeah

...

it was a false positive, the test or something.

I read that.

Sorry, Taylor.

Didn't mean to ruin your entire reputation on that one.

Whoops.

Is that California?

I think they're, like, everywhere.

Oh, God.

Well, it started, like, kind of this area, right, northeast? Like-

Yeah

... just-

Michigan?

... through?

I don't know where it started.

I don't know.

Who went doo-doo in the field again?

[laughs] I mean, I feel like everybody had, like, gotten on top of it and if they think that they have contaminated lettuce, they don't serve lettuce right now.

Oh, man, yeah.

It's...

That's why you choose organic I guess or local, right?

Yeah.

Um, not commodity if you, if at all possible.

I s-

They said the chopped stuff, the bagged chopped stuff-

Mm-hmm

... was, like, the worst.

Yeah.

I hate the smell of bagged chopped lettuce.

Isn't it the wor-...

I...

That stuff is disgusting.

It smells like plastic.

It always comes out slimy.

Well, it- it's-

But it's always the white pieces too.

[laughs]

Yeah, and the thing is they pump it full of, like, weird gases so that it doesn't go brown.

Oh.

Like, meanwhile, it's been on the shelf for probably about six weeks.

Sometimes it's kind of frozen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Got too close to the cooler.

You know? Got the shredded carrots in there that's like-

And that's why I-

... dry matchsticks

... that's why my diet consists of 95% meat.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Meat and carbs.

But it's safe, right? I mean, listen, there hasn't been a case of trichinosis since, like, 1968, so, you know, people, uh, p- still worry about pork being, uh, undercooked, but listen, pork's the other red meat in my opinion.

Yep.

Go ahead and cook it.

I saw a salad, salad joint somewhere was serving their salads-

With pork?

No, with a diaper.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Like, a to-go salad place.

With the pens?

Yeah.

Oh, the pens.

Oh, man.

But isn't that the anti...

Isn't that the opposite of the messaging?

It might be incredible marketing, I guess.

But isn't it the opposite?

It is.

Like, why give the diaper and say you don't need this?

Just in case.

Just in case.

But just in case.

We cannot guarantee this.

Mm.

Sign on the dotted line before accepting this.

I mean, Saladworks, like, they must be...

Do they...

Their business must be tanking, right, a little bit?

Probably.

Must be, right? 'Cause they're not buying organic or farm fresh, that's for darn sure.

Or they have a strong marketing campaign.

Taco Bell, like, the next day was like, "Yo, we pulled all of our lettuce.

Please come have tacos."

Oh, really? They did?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, they're on top of it.

Yeah.

Saladworks, "We pulled all of our salad.

We got toppings for you."

Pasta.

Pasta salad, yeah.

[laughs] There you go.

That's about it.

That's why I love Saladworks.

Yeah.

It's half lettuce, half spaghetti.

Add some macaroni-

Macaroni

... on it, whatever it is

... tuna.

Scoop of tuna salad.

The best.

Well, it just goes to show, you know, our systems are not fail-safe.

Sure.

That's for darn sure.

Hey, clean me out.

I'll take a free clean out.

You'll take the, you'll take the 20 pounds? [laughs]

No, I don't wanna go into that.

Ah, hit it, Snack Time.