Episode 38 - Five Things I Wish More Parents Knew About Talking to Young Adults

Episod  38 - Things I Wish More Parents Knew About Talking to Young Adults How do we stay close to our young adults while allowing them to become the authors of their own lives? As children move through adolescence and into adulthood, our relationship with them has to change. We may still see the potholes ahead. We may desperately want to protect them from mistakes, heartbreak, disappointment or danger. At the same time, they need room to explore, make decisions, get things wrong and discover what they are capable of. And that can be enormously difficult for those of us who love them. In this episode of Dare to Speak: Difficult Conversations That Change Everything, I explore five things I wish more parents knew about talking, and particularly listening, to young adults aged 16–28. I talk about: \- Why listening does not mean agreeing. We can understand our young adult's perspective without approving of every decision they make. \- Why advice can feel very different from the other side. What feels like love, wisdom and protection to us may be experienced as criticism, control or a lack of confidence in them. \- Why their distress doesn't always require our intervention. Sometimes we need to ask whether we are trying to remove their discomfort because they cannot tolerate it, or because we cannot tolerate watching it. \- Why the relationship has to change if we want to remain close. Moving from parenting a child to having a relationship with a young adult requires changes in authority, privacy, boundaries, responsibility and autonomy. \- Why we don't have to get every conversation right. Misunderstandings and ruptures happen. What matters is our willingness to return, repair and try again. I also explore something I have had to learn in my own parenting: how to manage my fear without making my children's worlds smaller. There is a profound difference between saying: "I need to rescue you because I don't think you can cope." and: "I will stand beside you while you discover that you can get through this." Throughout the episode, I draw on the frameworks behind my work on difficult conversations, including Clarify, Communicate and Correct, and the principles at the heart of my new book, Dare to Listen. Because listening isn't simply keeping quiet while somebody else speaks. It means noticing what is happening inside ourselves. What are we frightened of? What assumptions are we making? What story are we telling ourselves? Can we tolerate our own discomfort for long enough to remain curious about the young adult in front of us? Perhaps the question isn't: "How do I get my young adult to talk to me?" Perhaps it is: "How do I become someone they can talk to?" My new book, Dare to Listen: Navigating Life's Difficult Conversations with Young Adults Aged 16 to 28, is available from 28 August 2026 in Kindle, paperback and hardback editions on Amazon. If you enjoy the book, please consider leaving a review. Reviews make an enormous difference in helping other parents and adults supporting young people discover it. And if this episode resonates with you, please like, share and subscribe to Dare to Speak: Difficult Conversations That Change Everything. Thank you for listening. If you would like to comment or share a difficult conversation topic for a future podcast, please message me.🫶✨️ **Connect with Eve Stanway** If this episode has resonated with you, the conversation does not have to stop here. If you would like to explore working with Eve, book a free 20-minute chat. This is a relaxed, confidential opportunity to talk about what is happening, what support you need and whether working together feels right for you. Website: www.evestanway.co.uk Email: [eve@evestanway.co.uk](mailto:eve@evestanway.co.uk) If you would like thoughtful, non-judgemental support away from the noise and exposure of social media, you are warmly invited to join Eve’s **Dare to Speak Community**. It is a private online space where you can learn how to approach difficult conversations with greater confidence, manage emotional overwhelm and feel supported by people who understand how hard these situations can be. You will also have access to Eve’s courses, expert interviews, monthly webinars and live Power Hour question-and-answer sessions. Join the Dare to Speak Community: https://join.evestanway.co.uk/ You can also connect with Eve here: Instagram: @evestanway Facebook: Eve Stanway LinkedIn: Eve Stanway YouTube: @evestanway TikTok: @evestanway Substack: Eve Stanway If you are navigating separation or divorce and want to approach it with clarity rather than conflict, visit ...