319. Cuffy and the Power of Letting Go

Uh, and maybe if I did, it was in passing.

And, uh, it's with the idea behind it that, you know, sometimes we find ourselves in places where we get frustrated pretty easily because we think what we should be experiencing, what we should be able to do as far as maybe a capacity in some task or some creative endeavor, it- it's not turning out the way [chuckles] that we thought it would or, or should.

And so we can find ourselves getting frustrated and trying all the more to grab the reins and be in control and be in this place where we just white-knuckle it.

You know what I'm talking about? I mean, have you ever done that? [chuckles] I know I certainly have, um, more often than I care to admit.

But the story I wanna share with you today is actually about, uh, an experience I had with my kids.

Now, I have two daughters and, uh, today they're in their 20s, and, um, when they were younger, we would like to go and do all sorts of things with them, just give them some experiences.

And one of the things that I did o- often with them was to take them bowling because I thought, "This is a good family activity.

We can go.

We can have some fun." There's usually some flashy graphics or interface in the bowling alley.

I don't need to keep score, which is great [laughs] 'cause, you know, I'm like, "Let, let's be real.

I'm an, I'm an artist, not a mathematician," right? So we would go and we would find a ball that would be appropriate in the weight and maybe one that was a color that somebody particularly liked, and we would get our shoes and we would go to the lane that we were assigned, and we would punch in names, sometimes not even like our real names.

Uh, and it was all part of the experience.

And one day I noticed that, um, as I was attempting to bowl with my kids, I was getting a little frustrated because I knew that I could do so much better than I was doing in that moment.

And I'm not talking about [chuckles] trying to like decimate my kids, right? I'm not talking about, um, playing so that I'm like playing to win.

I, I'm just saying like I was frustrated in my lack of ability in that moment 'cause I'm like, "I know I can do better than this.

I know I have done better than this." And before I had kids, uh, I was in a season where, you know, I was then with my, um, dating my wife at the time, and we would go bowling as part of an activity and an outing, and we enjoyed that.

We would, we would also do that with some other people.

And so I had these memories.

Uh, uh, truth be told, I even had my own ball, um, and, and pair of shoes, um, that I hadn't used in some time, and it was [chuckles] starting to show wear.

But anyway, I'm standing there attempting to bowl, knowing in my mind that I can do better than what the results are showing.

I'm trying to visualize it.

I'm trying to do all those things that people tell you to do, right? I'm taking my time and I'm noticing my posture is tightening and I'm noticing that I'm just feeling, uh, tense.

And of course, when you're in that mode, y- you're going to do poorly because you're too wound up.

You're too tense.

You're too much trying to control things.

Uh, and maybe if I did, it was in passing.

And, uh, it's with the idea behind it that, you know, sometimes we find ourselves in places where we get frustrated pretty easily because we think what we should be experiencing, what we should be able to do as far as maybe a capacity in some task or some creative endeavor, it- it's not turning out the way [chuckles] that we thought it would or, or should.

And so we can find ourselves getting frustrated and trying all the more to grab the reins and be in control and be in this place where we just white-knuckle it.

You know what I'm talking about? I mean, have you ever done that? [chuckles] I know I certainly have, um, more often than I care to admit.

But the story I wanna share with you today is actually about, uh, an experience I had with my kids.

Now, I have two daughters and, uh, today they're in their 20s, and, um, when they were younger, we would like to go and do all sorts of things with them, just give them some experiences.

And one of the things that I did o- often with them was to take them bowling because I thought, "This is a good family activity.

We can go.

We can have some fun." There's usually some flashy graphics or interface in the bowling alley.

I don't need to keep score, which is great [laughs] 'cause, you know, I'm like, "Let, let's be real.

I'm an, I'm an artist, not a mathematician," right? So we would go and we would find a ball that would be appropriate in the weight and maybe one that was a color that somebody particularly liked, and we would get our shoes and we would go to the lane that we were assigned, and we would punch in names, sometimes not even like our real names.

Uh, and it was all part of the experience.

And one day I noticed that, um, as I was attempting to bowl with my kids, I was getting a little frustrated because I knew that I could do so much better than I was doing in that moment.

And I'm not talking about [chuckles] trying to like decimate my kids, right? I'm not talking about, um, playing so that I'm like playing to win.

I, I'm just saying like I was frustrated in my lack of ability in that moment 'cause I'm like, "I know I can do better than this.

I know I have done better than this." And before I had kids, uh, I was in a season where, you know, I was then with my, um, dating my wife at the time, and we would go bowling as part of an activity and an outing, and we enjoyed that.

We would, we would also do that with some other people.

And so I had these memories.

Uh, uh, truth be told, I even had my own ball, um, and, and pair of shoes, um, that I hadn't used in some time, and it was [chuckles] starting to show wear.

But anyway, I'm standing there attempting to bowl, knowing in my mind that I can do better than what the results are showing.

I'm trying to visualize it.

I'm trying to do all those things that people tell you to do, right? I'm taking my time and I'm noticing my posture is tightening and I'm noticing that I'm just feeling, uh, tense.

And of course, when you're in that mode, y- you're going to do poorly because you're too wound up.

You're too tense.

You're too much trying to control things.