Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
Sep 23, 2026 · 1 hr 17 min · 13 segments
Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! With so many trauma-informed parenting approaches available, how do foster, adoptive, and kinship parents know which…
Beth TysonGuestTracy WhitneyHostWell, let's move into some of the red flags that should make parents feel cautious when they're looking at or reviewing different parenting models that are out there.
You did mention one right at the outset, this will fix all your problems in 30 days or less kind of mentality.
So anything that, you know, guarantees that transformation, anything that is blaming of the parents, especially in foster kinship, adoptive things, you know, we really, you know, the parents are the biological parents.
The children really need to see us stay either neutral or positive about them because they identify with, themselves with the parent.
And if they think their parents are bad monsters, terrible people, they are internalizing those messages and saying, well, I came from them, so I must be bad too.
And if I'm bad, I might as well just act bad because you're already telling me I'm bad.
So, you know, anything that demonizes birth parents or blames the parents or the child for the behaviors is not helpful.
Anything that discourages outside professional help Anybody that claims that they are the only one that can help your situation.
They should always say like, if this isn't working, like you may need professional.
I always say that, like if things that we're saying today on this podcast seem like they're not enough for what you're going through, you need to seek that professional licensed counselor or social worker who can really help you.
You know, you see these people make their kids stand outside on the street with a sign that says like, I broke whatever rule.
Like anything that is about shaming the child, treating difficult behavior as manipulation, you know, saying like this child is just being manipulative.
And anything that dismisses culture, disability, medical needs, or safety concerns.
Well, let's move into some of the red flags that should make parents feel cautious when they're looking at or reviewing different parenting models that are out there.
You did mention one right at the outset, this will fix all your problems in 30 days or less kind of mentality.
So anything that, you know, guarantees that transformation, anything that is blaming of the parents, especially in foster kinship, adoptive things, you know, we really, you know, the parents are the biological parents.
The children really need to see us stay either neutral or positive about them because they identify with, themselves with the parent.
And if they think their parents are bad monsters, terrible people, they are internalizing those messages and saying, well, I came from them, so I must be bad too.
And if I'm bad, I might as well just act bad because you're already telling me I'm bad.
So, you know, anything that demonizes birth parents or blames the parents or the child for the behaviors is not helpful.
Anything that discourages outside professional help Anybody that claims that they are the only one that can help your situation.
They should always say like, if this isn't working, like you may need professional.
I always say that, like if things that we're saying today on this podcast seem like they're not enough for what you're going through, you need to seek that professional licensed counselor or social worker who can really help you.
You know, you see these people make their kids stand outside on the street with a sign that says like, I broke whatever rule.
Like anything that is about shaming the child, treating difficult behavior as manipulation, you know, saying like this child is just being manipulative.
And anything that dismisses culture, disability, medical needs, or safety concerns.
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