Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care
Aug 19, 2026 · 51 min · 12 segments
Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks! Children in foster care can experience far more than a change in placement. They may lose caregivers, siblings…
Rita SoronenGuestTracy WhitneyHostOn a practical note, one of the things that we suggest to particularly new foster parents is to start a little journal-
... and track behaviors and track what led to the behavior, track what the conditions were.
You know, was it really hot in the house, or was there a lot of noise in the house, or was it right after they came off the bus and maybe they were just hangry? Um, you know, what, what are you seeing? Before you start stepping in to try and change anything, think about what you're seeing and all the things that you can notice that might lend itself to some patterns.
And when we can kind of follow the patterns and be a little bit of a detective that way, it makes it much easier to see what's underneath that behavior.
That's exactly it, and don't be afraid, excuse me, as a foster parent, to ask the caseworker-
This is happening more than one time." Um, you know, don't be afraid to, to, to admit that, "I don't understand this behavior." And hopefully the caseworker, just like you said, has a tip or an idea, like-
... maybe start journalizing with the child what's going on so that you can understand.
And if you don't get that information from the caseworker, you know, push harder and make sure that-
the, the supervisor gets involved, because foster parents deserve to have that kind of support when there are behaviors they don't understand or they don't feel like, um, they're being responsive in a way that's helpful to the child.
Start combing through the file and seeing what can you learn about behaviors and things that led up to the behaviors and things that happened after the behaviors that will help you, again, be that bit of a detective.
Um, and it's all on behalf of and, and advocacy for the child to help them change the behaviors, but because you're meeting the need that's under the behavior.
... is the caseworker, of course, right? But, but get connected with other foster parents.
On a practical note, one of the things that we suggest to particularly new foster parents is to start a little journal-
... and track behaviors and track what led to the behavior, track what the conditions were.
You know, was it really hot in the house, or was there a lot of noise in the house, or was it right after they came off the bus and maybe they were just hangry? Um, you know, what, what are you seeing? Before you start stepping in to try and change anything, think about what you're seeing and all the things that you can notice that might lend itself to some patterns.
And when we can kind of follow the patterns and be a little bit of a detective that way, it makes it much easier to see what's underneath that behavior.
That's exactly it, and don't be afraid, excuse me, as a foster parent, to ask the caseworker-
This is happening more than one time." Um, you know, don't be afraid to, to, to admit that, "I don't understand this behavior." And hopefully the caseworker, just like you said, has a tip or an idea, like-
... maybe start journalizing with the child what's going on so that you can understand.
And if you don't get that information from the caseworker, you know, push harder and make sure that-
the, the supervisor gets involved, because foster parents deserve to have that kind of support when there are behaviors they don't understand or they don't feel like, um, they're being responsive in a way that's helpful to the child.
Start combing through the file and seeing what can you learn about behaviors and things that led up to the behaviors and things that happened after the behaviors that will help you, again, be that bit of a detective.
Um, and it's all on behalf of and, and advocacy for the child to help them change the behaviors, but because you're meeting the need that's under the behavior.
... is the caseworker, of course, right? But, but get connected with other foster parents.
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