How to Lessen the Trauma for a 4-Year-Old Moving Into My Home - Weekend Wisdom

So today's question is, my niece has been living with her paternal grandparents for two years.

She is now four, and they have decided that it is getting too hard for them.

We've agreed to take her in.

She knows us, but we haven't spent much time with her.

What's the best way to move her to our home that will cause the least psychological damage to her? She is very attached to her grandparents.

Well, first, thank you for stepping up to be a family for this child.

As far as transitioning, generally speaking, slow and steady wins the race.

And it could look something like this.

At first, you go to her grandparents' house or her house and visit with her there.

While you're there, let her see you interacting with the grandparents, the grandparents interacting with you.

You can hang out with her.

She gets to know you better in her environment.

Then after a while, and she's gotten to know you and is comfortable with you, you might take her to a park for an hour or two, play with her there, then bring her home.

If she's particularly hesitant, you might have the grandparents come with you to the park and then gradually move to you taking her to the park or to the McDonald's play area or wherever you want to go, that you're taking her but bringing her back after a couple of hours.

You might talk to her about coming to your house and start laying the groundwork that she might want to come to your house.

So at some point, her grandparents would bring her to your house.

They'd stay and you'd visit with them and with her.

You'd have some toys set out and you'd play or do whatever.

Then the grandparents would bring her and then would leave, but come back and pick her up.

Then after a while, maybe she spends the night at your house for one night and then goes back.

And then gradually, maybe for two nights and then three nights.

You get the picture here.

It's going to be slow and steady, and that is the best way to reduce any trauma that might happen with this child.

And there will be trauma.

It's going to be hard.