Jun 18, 2026 · 30 min · 9 segments
Recorded in the middle of the night in a room terrified of waking people up above and beside me. This is episode 54 of Consistently Above Average. Following the public shame, humiliation…
And truth be told, after Polaris, I was straight back into teaching, straight back into training and felt insanely flat.
Like even just to try to go back, like rolling and training and helping people with other stuff.
I was like, oh i might actually need a couple of days of doing nothing the problem is if you take a couple of days doing nothing at home you are ultimately going to end up back training and why not be doing a couple of days of doing nothing in good weather on the beach so a break from the responsibilities all that was completely needed um especially in being able to like refocus and think like what is still to come for the rest of the year and not feeling like you're going to end up burnt out by august coming into september so i have not fully watched my match back yet from polaris i don't feel i don't want to at the moment i probably won't i am embarrassed and i'm frustrated about it And my coaches have and they've given me some great feedback on it.
The occasion and everything about it overwhelmed me so much more than I ever thought that it might or that it could.
how I felt the week of, the morning of, the day of, compared to how I began to feel when the runner of the event came and told me that I was next are two polar opposites, like they could not be further away from it.
um earlier that morning speaking to matt one of the owners of polaris uh one of the owners of scramble i was like this just feels so exciting i was like there is like no pressure here like this is just gonna be like such a good experience like this is i i felt so fully and firmly locked in dialed in So when it comes to warming up, like generally speaking, talked about this before on the podcast, I like to get a proper sweat on.
I now believe, having gone through this experience, that for something like Polaris or Superfight, you're better off stretching and having a couple of flow rules adjusted.
Whether I'm right or wrong in that, maybe you need a bit more to figure it out, a bit more data.
But compared to what I feel like I would usually do for a bracket-based tournament, this was not the move.
From when I was told that I was next and to wait there to actually competing was about 15 minutes.
Second match in the event, 15 minutes, being up alone, up in the office here, up in the brain, allowing your brain to remind you of different things that there are people watching you on different continents that you've somehow sold the most tickets at the event that there are people who've given up their day or work to come and watch you they've paid money to come and watch you they've kids at home are you going to let them down or are you going to make their day are they going to be happy for you are they going to be disappointed for you I was in a constant back and forth in my head Trying to push any potential negative that was coming in with a reaffirming positive.
How much better would this be if you were in the crowd watching this instead of about to walk out? And I was like, no.
Like, who cares? Like, I've virtually little to no experience or exposure to these type of environments, these type of events, shows, super fights, whatever.
And truth be told, after Polaris, I was straight back into teaching, straight back into training and felt insanely flat.
Like even just to try to go back, like rolling and training and helping people with other stuff.
I was like, oh i might actually need a couple of days of doing nothing the problem is if you take a couple of days doing nothing at home you are ultimately going to end up back training and why not be doing a couple of days of doing nothing in good weather on the beach so a break from the responsibilities all that was completely needed um especially in being able to like refocus and think like what is still to come for the rest of the year and not feeling like you're going to end up burnt out by august coming into september so i have not fully watched my match back yet from polaris i don't feel i don't want to at the moment i probably won't i am embarrassed and i'm frustrated about it And my coaches have and they've given me some great feedback on it.
The occasion and everything about it overwhelmed me so much more than I ever thought that it might or that it could.
how I felt the week of, the morning of, the day of, compared to how I began to feel when the runner of the event came and told me that I was next are two polar opposites, like they could not be further away from it.
um earlier that morning speaking to matt one of the owners of polaris uh one of the owners of scramble i was like this just feels so exciting i was like there is like no pressure here like this is just gonna be like such a good experience like this is i i felt so fully and firmly locked in dialed in So when it comes to warming up, like generally speaking, talked about this before on the podcast, I like to get a proper sweat on.
I now believe, having gone through this experience, that for something like Polaris or Superfight, you're better off stretching and having a couple of flow rules adjusted.
Whether I'm right or wrong in that, maybe you need a bit more to figure it out, a bit more data.
But compared to what I feel like I would usually do for a bracket-based tournament, this was not the move.
From when I was told that I was next and to wait there to actually competing was about 15 minutes.
Second match in the event, 15 minutes, being up alone, up in the office here, up in the brain, allowing your brain to remind you of different things that there are people watching you on different continents that you've somehow sold the most tickets at the event that there are people who've given up their day or work to come and watch you they've paid money to come and watch you they've kids at home are you going to let them down or are you going to make their day are they going to be happy for you are they going to be disappointed for you I was in a constant back and forth in my head Trying to push any potential negative that was coming in with a reaffirming positive.
How much better would this be if you were in the crowd watching this instead of about to walk out? And I was like, no.
Like, who cares? Like, I've virtually little to no experience or exposure to these type of environments, these type of events, shows, super fights, whatever.
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