Nobody Chooses Pain (With Dr Glenn & Phyllis)

**A trigger isn't an overreaction — it's stored pain asking to come out. From a rainforest compound in Costa Rica (howler monkeys included), Glenn and Phyllis unpack what's really happening when someone gets "triggered," why the brain can't tell the difference between a stubbed toe and an old wound, and why our instinct to calm people down is doing the opposite of helping. Phyllis shares the morning she walked away from a conversation feeling "off" — and turned back around. Glenn shares why he Oooed the stranger screaming at him through a car window. This is an honest, sometimes raw conversation about making space for pain instead of putting the lid back on the jar.** **In this episode:** - The working definition of trauma: a current emotional response based on a past event - Why "just choose joy / stop choosing pain" is something we'd never say to a six-month-old - The four Phrases — and when *not* to use the second one - Why calming someone down tamps the emotion *into the body* instead of out of it - The jar metaphor: holding sacred space vs. snapping the lid back on - Phyllis crying in front of a room of strangers in Switzerland — and why it connected them - A live, issue-specific Core Emotion Wheel on one of their most intimate, tender topics **Resources mentioned:** - Free Core Emotion Wheel → [connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew](connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew) - Find a certified coach (book a session) → [connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu](connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu) - Send us your questions for the show → [info@connectioncodes.co](mailto:info@connectioncodes.co)