Discipling Men in Sexual Integrity with Gerard Trolove from Stouthearted

How can churches create spaces where men can talk honestly about sexuality, pornography and sexual integrity without shame — while still encouraging responsibility, growth and loving relationships? In this episode, Jane talks with **Gerard Trolove from Stouthearted**, an Australian Christian ministry helping men grow in sexual integrity through discipleship, community and practical tools. Stouthearted is an eight-week group programme designed to help men understand themselves more deeply, reflect on their behaviours and values, and grow towards becoming the men God has called them to be. Gerard shares openly from his own journey and explains why sexual integrity is about much more than simply “stopping” unwanted behaviour. At its heart, it is about learning to love God and others well — including the people closest to us. Together, Jane and Gerard discuss: - Why shame and secrecy can make conversations about sexual integrity so difficult - Why sexual integrity is an ongoing journey rather than a once-and-done achievement - The connection between sexual integrity, spiritual maturity and freedom - Why the goal is not simply behaviour management, but becoming more loving, trustworthy and relationally responsible - Stouthearted’s idea of **“expanding your yes”** — moving the focus from only stopping unwanted behaviour towards actively becoming the kind of person who loves others well - Why sexual integrity has an impact far beyond the individual - The importance of taking meaningful action and getting appropriate support when change is proving difficult - How churches can reduce shame by talking openly about sexual struggles while still holding a clear vision for integrity - Practical ways churches can support men in this area - The role of community, reflection and accountability in creating lasting change An important note for listeners Stouthearted is a **Christian discipleship programme for men**. It is not an addiction-treatment programme, and this episode is not intended to comprehensively address either sex or pornography addiction or betrayal trauma. Where compulsive or addictive sexual behaviour is present, or where a partner has been traumatised through secrecy, deception or sexual betrayal, additional specialised support may be needed alongside discipleship. Gerard approaches the topic with openness, hope and positivity, particularly as a way of reducing shame and making it easier for men to seek help. For listeners who have experienced sexual betrayal, however, some of this language may land differently — particularly if explanations about struggle, grace or growth have previously been used to minimise harmful behaviour or rationalise a lack of change. Understanding why change can be difficult does not remove responsibility for honesty, safety, appropriate help and meaningful action. And for the woman listening whose partner is not taking those steps, Jane offers an important reminder near the end of the conversation: **your hope and healing are not dependent on his recovery or even on the survival of the relationship.** About Stouthearted Stouthearted is an eight-week Christian discipleship programme usually undertaken in a group setting. Men meet weekly around video content and discussion and engage in personal reflection throughout the week, combining individual inner work with the support of other men. To find out more about Stouthearted, visit stouthearted.com. Gerard also encourages church leaders, men's ministry leaders and members of church communities to reach out if they would like to explore bringing the programme into their church. Send Jane a note Support the show Connect with Jane at Quiet Wisdom Check out Reclaim your Confidence Group Support **Disclaimer:** The content shared on *Confident Again* is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical, psychological, therapeutic, legal or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be used as a substitute for individualised support from an appropriately qualified professional. The experiences, perspectives and opinions shared by guests are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Jane Gibb or Quiet Wisdom. Every person and situation is different, and listeners are encouraged to seek professional support appropriate to their own circumstances. If you are experiencing significant distress, trauma symptoms, concerns about safety, or compulsive or addictive sexual behaviour, please seek support from a suitably qualified health or mental health professional.