ClancyPasta | Internet Horror Stories
Oct 2, 2026 · 23 min · 7 segments
"...don't leave your campsite..." CLANCYPASTA PRESENTS ► "I'm a camp host at an isolated campground in the woods that has 3 rules you must follow" written by Savanahgleckler, narrated by ClancyPasta…
When I first applied for this job, it seemed like the perfect job for a nomad like myself.
Steady pay for six months, a place to hook up my van, and unlimited showers.
All I had to do was make sure the bathrooms were cleaned every morning and the trash cans were emptied every other day.
And then, of course, there was the set of rules my boss gave me when I showed up for my first shift.
Now, I know these rules may seem strange to you at first, but they will eventually become second nature.
This campground is pretty isolated and hard to reach, so most of the campers we have here are pretty serious and returnees, so they know the rules themselves pretty well.
You have only to be worried about new campers, which is pretty rare, but in the off chance it does happen, Find them immediately, and read them the rules, and do your absolute best to convince them to follow them.
There was an incident a couple years back we really don't want to repeat of.
With that, he handed me a laminated sheet of paper with three rules on them.
I expected him to walk off after he handed me the list, but he stood there expectantly, waiting for me to read them.
3.
When you need to enter any building on the property, always knock first.
I couldn't help but chuckle.
These seemed so hyper-specific and obscure, I felt like I was being hazed.
But glancing up at his face, I could tell he was completely serious.
I got the first two.
We don't want anybody getting lost on the trails or disturbing others at night, and a lot of people prefer to hike just to the sounds of nature.
But the third one didn't make sense.
And when I asked my boss about it, he simply said, We don't want to surprise anything that's on the other side of the door.
It's just good manners.
The fact that he said anything instead of anybody didn't escape me, but I didn't push it.
I really needed this job.
With a few words of encouragement and a reminder to always keep the list on me, he drove off.
It was about 4pm at that time, so I decided to get my van set up and then start on my chores.
Both the bathrooms and trash had to be taken out today.
When I first applied for this job, it seemed like the perfect job for a nomad like myself.
Steady pay for six months, a place to hook up my van, and unlimited showers.
All I had to do was make sure the bathrooms were cleaned every morning and the trash cans were emptied every other day.
And then, of course, there was the set of rules my boss gave me when I showed up for my first shift.
Now, I know these rules may seem strange to you at first, but they will eventually become second nature.
This campground is pretty isolated and hard to reach, so most of the campers we have here are pretty serious and returnees, so they know the rules themselves pretty well.
You have only to be worried about new campers, which is pretty rare, but in the off chance it does happen, Find them immediately, and read them the rules, and do your absolute best to convince them to follow them.
There was an incident a couple years back we really don't want to repeat of.
With that, he handed me a laminated sheet of paper with three rules on them.
I expected him to walk off after he handed me the list, but he stood there expectantly, waiting for me to read them.
3.
When you need to enter any building on the property, always knock first.
I couldn't help but chuckle.
These seemed so hyper-specific and obscure, I felt like I was being hazed.
But glancing up at his face, I could tell he was completely serious.
I got the first two.
We don't want anybody getting lost on the trails or disturbing others at night, and a lot of people prefer to hike just to the sounds of nature.
But the third one didn't make sense.
And when I asked my boss about it, he simply said, We don't want to surprise anything that's on the other side of the door.
It's just good manners.
The fact that he said anything instead of anybody didn't escape me, but I didn't push it.
I really needed this job.
With a few words of encouragement and a reminder to always keep the list on me, he drove off.
It was about 4pm at that time, so I decided to get my van set up and then start on my chores.
Both the bathrooms and trash had to be taken out today.
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