Ep. 10: Sister Hat 3: Nowhere to Nun

Bequest is a story about friendship, but it's also full of bad words and violence, so maybe don't listen with your kids.

[bell dings]

Ah, the Cold Rock pup.

What will it be?

Oh, uh, Gamer Agnes, good to see you.

Is Mr.

Carver okay? He doesn't usually let you work the counter.

That's right, boy, he doesn't.

Care to find out why?

Oh.

Oh, you, you don't mean the special.

I, I don't know.

Outsider, coward, or child?

What, what?

Three types of people who don't sample my true craft.

I watched you grow up in this town, and I've never met a cowardly Cold Rock, so you must be the tallest little boy these old eyes have ever seen.

I know what you're doing, and it's working.

Give me the special.

[mug thuds] Had that ready to go, huh?

[laughs]

Wow, that's black.

[laughs]

Well, here goes.

[slurps] That's incredible.

[thuds]

[laughs] [bell dings]

I'm back, Agnes.

Oh, looks like I forgot to lock up.

Oh.

Oh no. Lathander's shining bollocks.

Damn it, Agnes, not again.

[laughs]

[laughs]

What'll it be, your money or your life? [thuds]

Shit.

Just a warning shot, but don't get any big ideas.

We do, in fact, have you surrounded.

So I'll ask again, what'll it be?

I choose money.

Money coming right up, sir.

Smart lad.

You know, it's sort of a false choice, your money or your life.

We just want the money, and it's not like we're gonna leave it behind if we end up taking your life.

Ugh, here, take it.

Nice and heavy.

[laughs] Not a decoy, is it?

No, sir.

My uncle says that's a dangerous game.

If the robbery is civil enough that a decoy might help, you don't wanna risk that playing games.

Well, if your uncle told you that, I'm sure he also told you to keep a small backup purse hidden somewhere real good.

You have one of those?

Uh...

Keep it, kid.

You'll need some coin wherever you're headed so far from home.

That's a coastal accent if I've ever heard one.

What brings a young man from the paper coast out here?

Job interview, believe it or not.

[laughs] You got it backwards, kid.

People don't come out here looking for opportunity, unless you're looking to get into the bandit game.

Is that it? You wanna join our crew? [laughs] I'm kidding.

We'll get you on your way soon enough.

Heh.

Thanks.

Oh, one more thing.

You're from the coast.

Let me paw through that foldy purse your type always carries.

A lot of folk out here scoff at the paper money, but we'll be needing some when we finally get out of these blasted hills.

Oh.

Uh, y- yeah.

You'll leave the cards, right? They're, they're, they're of no use to you, and a real pain to replace.

Of course, lad, of course.

Yeah.

Now, hang on a second.

Cold Rock.

Uh, y- yeah?

Uh, [laughs] I'm sorry, son, I can't let you on your way after all.

Don't, don't do this.

Relax, relax, we're not gonna hurt you.

You'll spend a few days as an honored guest in our camp till we sort out the ransom and drop you off at the nearest Cold Rock dispatch.

You'll be embarrassed, I'm sure, but none the worse for wear.

N- no, I, I won't let you.

Hey, now, don't do anything stupid, boy.

You have my sympathy, but you're our golden ticket out of here.

No. [sword clangs] [thuds] Ah.

[thuds]

Goddammit.

How are we supposed to ransom a pin cushion?

Sorry, boss.

Sorry, boss.

Sorry, boss.

Not yet you're not.

Pack up, boys.

We're leaving this forest for a while.

Ah, sorry, kid.

[upbeat music]

Bequest is a story about friendship, but it's also full of bad words and violence, so maybe don't listen with your kids.

[bell dings]

Ah, the Cold Rock pup.

What will it be?

Oh, uh, Gamer Agnes, good to see you.

Is Mr.

Carver okay? He doesn't usually let you work the counter.

That's right, boy, he doesn't.

Care to find out why?

Oh.

Oh, you, you don't mean the special.

I, I don't know.

Outsider, coward, or child?

What, what?

Three types of people who don't sample my true craft.

I watched you grow up in this town, and I've never met a cowardly Cold Rock, so you must be the tallest little boy these old eyes have ever seen.

I know what you're doing, and it's working.

Give me the special.

[mug thuds] Had that ready to go, huh?

[laughs]

Wow, that's black.

[laughs]

Well, here goes.

[slurps] That's incredible.

[thuds]

[laughs] [bell dings]

I'm back, Agnes.

Oh, looks like I forgot to lock up.

Oh.

Oh no. Lathander's shining bollocks.

Damn it, Agnes, not again.

[laughs]

[laughs]

What'll it be, your money or your life? [thuds]

Shit.

Just a warning shot, but don't get any big ideas.

We do, in fact, have you surrounded.

So I'll ask again, what'll it be?

I choose money.

Money coming right up, sir.

Smart lad.

You know, it's sort of a false choice, your money or your life.

We just want the money, and it's not like we're gonna leave it behind if we end up taking your life.

Ugh, here, take it.

Nice and heavy.

[laughs] Not a decoy, is it?

No, sir.

My uncle says that's a dangerous game.

If the robbery is civil enough that a decoy might help, you don't wanna risk that playing games.

Well, if your uncle told you that, I'm sure he also told you to keep a small backup purse hidden somewhere real good.

You have one of those?

Uh...

Keep it, kid.

You'll need some coin wherever you're headed so far from home.

That's a coastal accent if I've ever heard one.

What brings a young man from the paper coast out here?

Job interview, believe it or not.

[laughs] You got it backwards, kid.

People don't come out here looking for opportunity, unless you're looking to get into the bandit game.

Is that it? You wanna join our crew? [laughs] I'm kidding.

We'll get you on your way soon enough.

Heh.

Thanks.

Oh, one more thing.

You're from the coast.

Let me paw through that foldy purse your type always carries.

A lot of folk out here scoff at the paper money, but we'll be needing some when we finally get out of these blasted hills.

Oh.

Uh, y- yeah.

You'll leave the cards, right? They're, they're, they're of no use to you, and a real pain to replace.

Of course, lad, of course.

Yeah.

Now, hang on a second.

Cold Rock.

Uh, y- yeah?

Uh, [laughs] I'm sorry, son, I can't let you on your way after all.

Don't, don't do this.

Relax, relax, we're not gonna hurt you.

You'll spend a few days as an honored guest in our camp till we sort out the ransom and drop you off at the nearest Cold Rock dispatch.

You'll be embarrassed, I'm sure, but none the worse for wear.

N- no, I, I won't let you.

Hey, now, don't do anything stupid, boy.

You have my sympathy, but you're our golden ticket out of here.

No. [sword clangs] [thuds] Ah.

[thuds]

Goddammit.

How are we supposed to ransom a pin cushion?

Sorry, boss.

Sorry, boss.

Sorry, boss.

Not yet you're not.

Pack up, boys.

We're leaving this forest for a while.

Ah, sorry, kid.

[upbeat music]