Consequences 101: Why behavior happens again

Well, it only makes sense to start with some definitions because in the parenting world, right, we use words like rewards and consequences and punishment and positive reinforcement.

And what does that mean? So we were thinking we should probably start with defining some of these words before we get into it.

So, yeah.

So when we think about a reward, typically this is going to be a preferred item.

Maybe it's going to be praise that comes after a behavior.

And it's usually to thank someone or essentially to say, good job.

So an example might be maybe, and I'm not even kidding, Angie, I was just on a call right before this with a parent where I was talking about encouraging praise after reading patiently.

So if our kids are interrupting, but they're reading patiently, maybe we offer praise.

That would be a reward.

Or a common one, offering allowance after our kids complete a weekly chore.

So those are going to be some positive rewards.

But we have to remember that a reward doesn't necessarily encourage positive behavior in the future.

It's just it's a reward.

So that's just something to think about.

So that leads us into positive reinforcement.

And essentially an item, if we're talking about an item, that would actually be called a positive reinforcer.

So something added like praise or an item after a behavior that increases the likelihood of that behavior in the future.

So one call out here, though, I want to mention that we didn't say a behavior that we want to see in the future, because believe it or not, you can actually positively reinforce an undesired behavior, too.

So we see this a lot.

Let's say if your child's having a tantrum, right, or they're having a tantrum for a toy, and then we give them the toy.

Or maybe they're just having a tantrum, and then we give them a toy, a random toy, right? And now what we're doing is we're actually positively reinforcing that.

and undesired behavior.

So we definitely want to make sure to call that out too.

And then we've got two more.

So a common one we hear all the time, punishment, right? So this essentially just means any consequence that immediately follows a behavior, and then it's going to decrease the future frequency of that behavior.